But this is a dual massager we’re talking about here, so there’s a specially contoured man unit too. Both units store in a handy carrying case, although said case’s lack of an automated cleaning solution—or at the very least some free Purell samples—is disconcerting, to say the least.

Weird aside on my part: Are those bondage straps next to the Philips model in that picture or what?

Another aside: Attend IFA next year. [Philips via CrunchGear]

According to the company, this “micro-computerized, low-voltage, intensity adjustable” Magic Massage Bra will do all these things:

• Make breast up.
• Dredge breast glands.
• Eliminate blood stasis.
• Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
• Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
• If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal
secretion.

Whatever all that pseudoscientific crap means, don’t buy this snake oil. If you are a woman, get a magnetic bra or a bra booster instead and call the boyscouts for your breast massages. [Alibaba via Nerd Approved]

The acupressure dots that cover the top of the pad act as a massaging agent for your feet—plus it should provide extra traction when you are dizzy with effort and sliding on your own slippery sweat. The only problem is that I don’t think that Wii Fit is all that it is cracked up to be in the first place. [Amazon via Technabob]

First of all, getting a massage is still a two person job. You still require someone to stand behind you and strum the harp that is integrated into the back of the chair. Plus, even the most ham-fisted of us can deliver a passable massage—a harp chair requires that the person giving the massage actually have some skill. After all, randomly plucking away at the strings isn’t going to be relaxing for anyone—unless you are Phillip Glass or something. [Hammacher via DVICE]

It has 234 stimulating points, an ergonomic handle, and–if the model is to be believed–the ability to give your head a full rubdown without ever disturbing your hair. Amazing! And it’s available for the cheapie price of $US34 off of Japan Trend Shop. [Japan Trend Shop]

The Price: $US10

The Verdict: So apparently these things are supposed to help relax your eyes after hours of staring at a computer. As a blogger, I’m always looking for things to keep my eyesight from getting worse… but the benefits of this product seem a little dubious. After wearing it for a couple of seconds, my face started to go numb and I could feel my contacts drying out. I’m still trying to blink moisture back into them.

These feelers stimulate the pressure points around your eyes. The Chinese are really big on acupressure. I love acupressure too, but this machine feels less health massage and more sensual massage, if you get my drift. Especially since you can set it to cycle through three modes – continuous vibration, slow pulse vibration and fast pulse vibration. Hmmmm.

Oh, and the back brace. My parents insisted I get one to remind myself to sit up straight while I’m working. It kind of works… mostly because every time I start to slouch, it cuts off my circulation and I get light headed. Better posture through oxygen deprivation FTW! [Babaka's site. Chinese only.]

They explain that using specific lighting colours, with something called “synchronised” music will activate certain areas of your brain, putting you in any of those states. I don’t know if it works or not, but the idea of putting my head inside the mouth of space Pac-Man here only makes me anxious. [OSIM via Dvice]