Tagged With lies

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Doctors have this nasty habit of asking a lot of questions, many of which make us uncomfortable or self-conscious. So we bluff. A lot. Here are 10 typical lies we tell our doctors, and why these seemingly innocuous fibs are hazardous to our health.

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Everybody lies. We can't help it. We exaggerate details to seem more fun, we highlight specifics to get more sympathy, and we fish for other people's reactions to make us feel better. And with the social media handcuff we lock onto ourselves everyday with our phone addiction, we lie even more on the Internet to cull for likes and hearts and thumbs ups. Reality isn't real anymore but a highly curated photo feed of who we want to pretend to be.

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Kim Kardashian released an app called Kimoji this week. The app gives people who pay $2.99 for it a set of illustrated references to the television personality's life — a rounded, be-thonged thumbnail of her arse; her crying face; the word "BASIC". But that's not what this blog post is about. This blog post is about the truth.

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The myth of the 'base tan' needs to die. Like Bonnaroo and thongs, the concept of the base tan reappears every year and gets enthusiastically endorsed by a subset of confused people with dubious hygiene standards.

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Drones are no longer cool. I know this because a brand has now tried to shoehorn one into a TV spot, in a lame attempt to make its ad go viral. And worst of all, the title is all wrong: this isn't drone football. Not even close.

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This past Friday, I mentioned that I was trying to get the new Twitter web client. My colleague and noted internet deviant Mat Honan graciously offered to pop in the workaround for me if I'd send him my password. I was in a rush to get to a meeting, so unaccountably, I agreed. Big mistake.

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As if you didn't have enough to worry about this weekend, Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan is warning of a pending Zombie apocalypse. And she hasn't even been fired yet! Actually, it's a pretty good idea.

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Senator Conroy has been on the warpath recently, accusing critics of the government's proposed mandatory internet filter of spreading "misinformation". Well last week, the minister himself was busted by iiNet after he publicly claimed that the ISP approved of and supported the filter. Which they don't, obviously.

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Since Guitar Hero: World Tour features a full set of instruments that are nearly identical to Rock Band's, Activision decided that it was time to take the high road and make their PS3 hardware completely compatible with their competition. Great, right? Well it is, except for one minor catch: PS3 Guitar Hero drums are not working in Rock Band. Oh, and the Rock Band mic isn't working in Guitar Hero, either.

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The Presidential Polygraph is a USB lie detector that will let you quickly and easily determine whether or not someone is telling the truth. For a mere $US50, it comes with all the stuff you'll need to determine whether or not your brother-in-law really loves your sister: a pulse oximeter finger clip, skin galvanisation finger wraps, a "breathing apparatus," and the necessary software. And, because no one lies better than politicians, it comes complete with creepy likenesses of the 2008 presidential candidates. If only you could hook it up to the TV for tonight's debate! It would probably overload and set your computer on fire.

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Sarah Varney of NPR's "All Things Considered" tested out the Kinoki body-detoxifying footpads currently making the rounds of late-night infomercials, to see if they really eliminate "heavy metals and metabolic waste." She and her husband used them for a night, and by the next morning the pads were covered in disgusting black gunk, as advertised. But then she took them to a lab for chemical analysis to learn exactly what was going on. The results? The Kinoki footpads are a dirty scam.