lhc
Science
Confirmed: CERN Is Just A Huge Half-Life Level
9:00AM John Herrman | Plenty of people have given CERN and Half-Life’s Black Mesa research facility the This Thing Looks Like That Thing treatment, but this tour of the facility’s deepest bowels is just too much. Steam geysers? Endless corridors? Rusty valves? Slime growths? More »
Science
LHC Roars To Life, Begins Task Of Destroying Universe Yet Again
4:00PM Dan Nosowitz | Christ, didn’t we kill this thing already? Repairwork on the Large Hadron Collider is making serious progress, with a test run of particle beams already completed. Scientists are hoping to attempt full world-ending experiments next month. More »
Science
She’s Got It Where It Counts: LHC Hyperdrive Testing A Possibility
6:00AM Jack Loftus | Parallels between the Large Hadron Collider and the beloved Millennium Falcon are becoming increasingly clear. Both take a bit of work to get off the ground; both feature rogue agents; and soon both could employ hyperdrive technology. More »
Random Stuff
Large Hadron Collider Scientist Arrested For Al Qaeda Links
6:12AM Jesus Diaz | Police have arrested a 32-year-old physicist at CERN’s Large Hadron Collider, linking him to an Al Qaeda terrorist group. Just fraking great. As if we didn’t have enough with the morons predicting Apocalypse and the thing failing on its own. More »
Random Stuff
Girlfriend Convinced To Put Out On Film Because Of LHC Doomsday
11:00AM Rosa Golijan | Today we learn that you can get a frigid girl to not only put out, but to do it on film by playing the Large Hadron Collider card. (Baby! No one will see that video since the world is ending!) More »
Science
Large Hadron Collider “Light” Will Half-End World In November
12:30AM Jack Loftus | While we doubt the loud sex is the real reason for CERN’s LHC-related woes, we are certain of one thing this morning: The “world-ending” LHC (citation: ill-informed ignoramuses) LHC will restart at half-strength in November. More »
Science
The Real Reason The Large Hadron Collider Keeps Getting Delayed
8:20AM John Herrman | As a part-time physics nerd, I get excited enough just reading Brian Greene books, so I can’t even imagine what the mood’s like over at the CERN dorms, where this polite advisory was allegedly posted. More »
Science
Doomsday Postponed Until October
12:30AM Jack Loftus | An electrical fault has delayed the LHC startup to October. The silver lining is events have aligned in such a way that I can wear my Higgs Boson costume with confidence. October, as you know, is home to Halloween. [MSNBC]
Science
LHC, Science Could ‘Correct Some of Our Opinions’ About Scripture and Faith
1:00AM Jack Loftus | Cardinal Giovanni Lajolo, the Vatican City’s governor, while visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collider on Friday: “The Church never fears the truth of science, because we are convinced that all truth comes from God.” More »
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