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We know the iPhone is going to be centre stage on Monday. But maybe you don't want a new iPhone, you want one more thing. Cult of Mac has convenient interactive timeline of big announcements from every Stevenote (with video!) so you can figure out what's more likely than not, using history as a guide.
Ladies and gentlemen, after hours of studious dissection of Apple keynotes (requiring countless YouTube clips, a non-linear editing program and a pile of empty Hot Pockets boxes that reaches our ceiling), we've figured out just how Apple "does it" and presented "it" to you here. Launching a new iPod or iPhone isn't about the new-fangled technology; it's about the showmanship. And here are the five, snake-charming ways Steve Jobs lures you to buy a new version of what you already have. SPOILER ALERT: It may involve comparing things to pencils.
Today Apple revealed its plans for WWDC, confirming that the Jobsnote this year will take place 10AM PST on Monday, June 9, rather than the usual Tuesday. (No word as to whether the turtleneck will still be black, or if the 3G iPhone will actually be present.) The WWDC will of course have two separate tracks, one for iPhone and one for OS X. More info at Apple's WWDC website, or in the press release after the jump. UPDATE: Some things we tend to forget repeatedly around here—WWDC keynotes are always on Monday, Macworld Jobsnotes are the ones that are always on Tuesday. My bad!
A lot of you have complained about Steve's "Booms" in the past. Old. Tired, you say, especially in our cartoons. Well, judging by yesterday's keynote, the Apple head man thinks the same. Compare and contrast yesterday's miserly tally of one "Boom!" to last year's bumper crop of 15 B-words. So, what word should El Jobso start repeating like a Tourettes-addled teenager now?
Seriously? We weren't going to post anything on this, but lots of sites seem to be picking it up. Do you really think that Steve Jobs would let his keynote be leaked, and on Wikipedia of all places? The keynote that many of his own people don't even know about? We've even heard about employees who worked on the products being announced at Macworlds being surprised that Steve Jobs pulls it out during showtime. But if you really want to read the list of "what's going to be announced", hit the jump.
The unspoken conventional wisdom around MacWorld every year is that you can make a good deal of money buying up Apple stock before the keynote and dumping it afterwards, cashing in on hyped up traders high on Jobs' ass fumes (a.k.a. his bullshit cloud or RDF).
The Seattle PI does great Microsoft reporting due to its proximity to HQ. But I'm not sure this piece about Bill Gates' keynote subject matter is anything but speculation. Don't get riled up by the new Xbox or Media Center rumours then. [SeattlePI]
Want to pretend you were there? Watch it now and count the booms yourself. [via Crunchgear]
Thought yesterday's WWDC Keynote was the worst keynote ever? Show your disapproval with this Worst. Keynote. Ever. shirt. Hell, just buy one and wear it to every keynote you go to from now on—even if it's not a Jobsnote—just for a pre-emptive screw you to the presenter.
Bonus points if you wear it to your own keynote address.
Product Page [Spreadshirt via Crunchgear]
In case our 
Ladies and gentlemen, after hours of studious dissection of Apple keynotes (requiring countless YouTube clips, a non-linear editing program and a pile of empty Hot Pockets boxes that reaches our ceiling), we've figured out just how Apple "does it" and presented "it" to you here. Launching a new iPod or iPhone isn't about the new-fangled technology; it's about the showmanship. And here are the five, snake-charming ways Steve Jobs lures you to buy a new version of what you already have. SPOILER ALERT: It may involve comparing things to pencils.