These mini wiimote novelty keychains have a unique function—it can shine an image of your favourite Mario-Kart character on the wall at the push of a button. Fans can collect six different versions that feature Luigi, Wario, Princess Peach, Yoshi and Baby Mario—but I wouldn't expect Mario to come flying out of the woodwork on a kart to save you when you shine the signal. Yup, your only hope is that Ron Jeremy happens to drive past you on a moped while you are getting mugged. Available for $US6.

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You know how you have that friend--for simplicity's sake, we'll call him Aaron Froucho--that you're never quite sure is gay or straight? What better way to answer the question for all eternity than with a US$14 keychain? The thing has three readouts, "gay," "straight" and "maybe," so if you get "maybe," keep asking until it decides one way or the other. Or, if you're feeling lonely, just go with it. Aaron will. [Play via Nerd Approved]

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Put simply, the Jinsei Game of Life won't let you play the simple game contained inside it unless you exercise. It's part pedometer, part Tamagotchi, part Lap Around Japan, and a little bit of masochism mixed in for good measure. To complete the "stages," you must take 300 steps, at which point you'll be granted a spin on the wheel to advance your character through the game. Don't take the steps and there's not really any kind of punishment. You'll just have yet another piece of gaudy tchotchke dangling from your keys, and those little people inside will be judging you without remorse. [Takaratomy via Trends in Japan]

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