There’s only one week left until the Blu-Ray release of the worst sequel ever (at least in terms of how it took my childhood and ripped out its heart Kali Ma-style), Indiana Jones and The Goddamn X-Files, and retailers have decided to go with an equally frustrating promotion gimmick. Indy-enthusiasts will have to choose between five different exclusive retail packages—getting every single piece of movie paraphernalia will be like a treasure hunt… with mediocre cinema attached!
The Blu-ray edition of the biggest letdown in movie history, also known as Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Whatever Crystal Something will be released on October 14, just in time not to buy it for this holiday season. The two-disc Blu-ray comes in the obligatory 1080p and comes loaded with extras that don’t make the movie any less crappy:
Forget the iPhone, and screw Terminator 4. Everyone who’s anyone knows that this week was all about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. There are plenty of mature and dignified ways of welcoming back the good professor. Here are the rest:
Yesterday I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Like a kid, I went to the movie theatre ready for all the popcorn cinema fun I could get—the crazy chases, the fights, bugs, snakes, temples, tombs, skeletons and all the deadly machines and ancient gadgets that they could throw at me. In fact, I’ve been ready for them since the end credits of the Last Crusade. Right there, as the lights went down, waiting for the first notes of the theme song, I was ready to shiver and jump in my seat. I was ready for the ride. (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD)
In case the Indiana Jones whip is outlawed in your state, there’s always other Indiana Jones merchandise to purchase! Take this Crystal Skull Projector—an accompanying audio CD teaches your child history as the skull projects some of Indiana’s most famous moments, along with history’s biggest archaeological finds through its “glowing eye.” At US$39.99 this October, it’s probably not the most bang you can get for your toy buck. But that skull is probably the finest piece of edutainment we’ve seen this side of the 80s. [Indiana Jones Shop via nerd approved]
Indy IV’s out! But what most people don’t know, however, is that the classic Indy theme now comes with new lyrics. Apparently, John Williams writes lyrics for all his compositions—even while they won’t be sung—as a way to keep them in character. Gizmodo has uncovered those lyrics after days of arduous investigation and heavy drinking, following up a scoop by Alex Balk. (Note: lyrics contain foul language.)
Last night I was lucky enough to attend the Australian premiere of Indy 4. Despite my anxiety, misgivings and fear that it would be disastrous, I actually really enjoyed the film. Of course, some parts bugged me, but for the most part it was just another fun movie starring one of my favourite movie heroes.
I write about technology for a living, so I’m not going to review the film and insult movie critics, movie lovers and everyone involved in the movie industry, but I do have a few thoughts I really want to write down. If you don’t want to read anything before you see the film yourself, probably best not to read this post. It doesn’t contain any major plot spoilers, just some moments in the film that I really enjoyed or hated.
newVideoPlayer("indy_whip.flv", 506, 423,""); The Gadget: The Indiana Jones FX Whip is a soft toy whip made by Hasbro that has button-activated sound effects which are related to the Indy franchise. It’s also handy for keeping new interns in order (see video).
You know that gigantic LEGO Indiana Jones boulder? Turns out that only the outside is LEGO. The inside (based on this photo) is made of styrofoam. We suppose that it would be way too cost-prohibitive to build the entire boulder out of LEGO, but that doesn’t make us any less disappointed. [Photo Credit - Thanks Mike!]
newVideoPlayer("giantlegoboulder_gizmodo.flv", 480, 380,""); Ah LEGO, how much we love you? Let me count the ways: five million. The same amount of million multicoloured pieces needed to create this solid boulder, as big as the one in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Then get a fake Professor Henry Jones (You call this archaeology?,) fake Sallah (Asps. Very dangerous. You go first,) and some other dudes to push it to chase a fake Indy down the streets of San Francisco. The result: an instant classic, even without the Hovitos. Let’s hope the actual movie is this crazy and preposterous. [Indiana Jones and LEGO in Gizmodo—thanks Cristiano]
