After all of this talk about the Pentagon preparing to blow a spy satellite out of the sky, missiles have never been hotter. So it is high time you got a piece of the action with this AIM-9 Sidewinder Missile floor lamp. Unfortunately, you can not purchase the lamp in one piece—it has to be built from an instruction kit—although the results look to be worth the effort. A video of the lamp in action is available after the break.

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Two shirts, two lovers, a bunch of hearts and one shared bad clothing taste or a shared obsession with Zelda. Or both. In any case, this proximity-based 8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirt is a recipe for style disaster. Or absolute happiness. Probably depending on your alcohol mana or yellow smiley pills stamina levels, as the animated diagram andjust added video show.

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Ahh, the great outdoors. Wouldn't it be nice to get out to the woods, to a log cabin far from the things of man? Naturally, you'd still need motorized Lutron Sivoia QED window shades, a "corporate-style" phone system from Panasonic, a whole-house music system and an AMX home control system to bring it all together. Oh and...

...a Meridian sound system with Vidikron Vision 90 DLP projector and a 130-inch screen for the home, I mean cabin, theater. And what about two kitchens, one for you and one for your guests? After all, you're not a caveman. Speaking of caves, it might pay to replace some of the natural rocks around the property for high-end speakers that just look like rocks, am I right?

So how much for this 10,000-square-foot relax-o-dome located (I believe) near Fort Collins, CO? You know the drill: If you have to ask, you'll never know. For more shots of decadence, hit EH's article. [Electronic House]

This Star Trek TNG home theatre is ubergeek in the absolute best way, which is probably why at CEDIA 2007 it was named the best theme theatre installation. Featuring a quasi-faithful re-creation of the Enterprise NCC-1701D, motion activated "air-lock" doors and an alert button producing an alarm and flurry of red LED lighting are enough to keep us entertained even if, say, the theatre were only 720p.

While the owner wishes to remain anonymous and we lack specs on the complete setup, the piece de resistance has to be one of the largest Kaleidescape hard drive storage systems in the world, with eight servers holding 3,816 DVDs. We'd probably be too busy drinking at the bar full of scifi memorabilia to watch our choice of Hilary Duff films, our minds blown at Robby the Robot hanging out with members of the Federation. [electronichouse]

We'd heard of the NY Jedi School before—for those who haven't, it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like—but we'd never seen a class in action until we spotted this clip on ABC. Given that lightsabers don't actually exist, we were confused just how the...logistics...worked out. Now we know. And yes, it's every bit as dorky as we dreamed (or nightmared) it would be. [nyjedi via abc & neatorama]

The Geek Squad, Best Buy's tie-wearing, Beetle-driving, and now porn-stealing tech group, was caught transferring pornographic images from a customer's machine. The sting was orchestrated by The Consumerist, who give a play-by-play of how they set it up. Check it out, it's work safe. Be sure to give it a Digg while you're at it, each one here goes straight to the Consumerist. For shame, Geek Squad! (You're not supposed to get caught!) [The Consumerist]

What's more embarrassing for Charlie Murphy than having "Unity" indented on his forehead? How about Ctrl Alt Delete? It's too bad Rick James wasn't a geek, or else that story would have went down slightly differently for Darkness. $89 each. – Jason Chen Product Page [Marchenoir via Neatorama]

Mike Philips is a Mac gamer and writer. He plays games like World of Warcraft and Unreal Tournament, is working on a novel and is a freelance tech writer. What makes him unique? Well, the fact that he does all this using only one thumb. Mike was born with spinal muscle atrophy, leaving him with control over only one thumb. But using a proximity switch connected to the Swifty USB switch interface and SwitchXS software, he's able to fully use a computer and frag like a pro. It's pretty amazing, and it makes your poor performance in UT using both hands seem even more pathetic. Be sure to check out the short video "One Thumb to Rule Them All" to see Mike gaming in action. –Adam Frucci One Thumb to Rule Them All [via TUAW]

Set the TiVo! David Pogue's new show Science Channel show, which he writes and stars in, starts tonight. 8 pm on the Science Channel! Every Fri for 6 weeks. Also on Discovery HD starting June 7. It's going to... Read More »

This Darth Vader phone can even do the heavy breathing for you during those late-night romantic phone calls, as well as other sound effects such as the Imperial March every time the phone rings, and that noise the lightsaber makes, too.

"Luke, this is your father. Pick up the muthafuckin' phone," says Darth. Well, not really, but we wish he would. If you're one of the few still using landlines, it's all yours for $35.93. – Charlie White

Product Page [Boys Stuff]