Leica M7: DSLR schmeeSLR. Digital photography still can’t match the old-school beauty of film, and Leica’s M7 35mm camera is one of the best and most gorgeous out there. It’s the kind of gift you’d hand down to your grandkids, partly because it’ll last forever and partly because it costs enough that you need several lifetimes to get your money’s worth. The M7 also has an even-more-decadent Hermes edition which clocks in at $US14,000, but the normal M7 is available now and would send any prosumer DSLR-owner into fits of jealousy. $US5500 [Gizmodo; Leica]

Retro-Gen: Modern video games are so complicated, so expensive, so… 3D. A true retrophile isn’t interested in Modern Warfare 2, but could be persuaded to play a little Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Streets of Rage 2 or Toejam and Earl 2: Panic on Funkotron. The Retro-Gen, a little sorta-legal handheld emulator, will play either original Genesis cartridges or ROMs that you’ve loaded onto an included SD card. Plus, the entire system costs less than some modern DSi or PSP games. $US38 [Gizmodo; Video Game Central Store]

French Press: Here’s one where an irrational fear of the new is totally justified. Your typical fancy, electronic drip coffee-maker spits out watery, bitter, brown liquid only technically identifiable as coffee, while the French press (basically a glass jug with a mesh screen plunger) produces rich, delicious coffee, retaining the essential oils that give a true depth of flavour. Not only is it older, simpler and cheaper, it’s flat-out better. $US20 [Bodum French Press]

Set of 11 Kenny Loggins Albums on Vinyl: You know what, this is a great gift for anyone, retrophile or not. Even if you don’t have a turntable, 11 of these albums would make excellent wall art. Matter of fact, I might just buy these myself. Go find your own Kenny Loggins vinyl collection! $US10 [eBay]

iPod Classic: Multitouch? OLED? Wi-Fi? Widescreen video? What about the good old days, when convergence was a crazy futuristic concept and PMPs were called MP3 players, because, well, that’s all they did. The iPod Classic is just about the only traditional hard drive–based PMP left on the market, and while it’s better than ever (thin, long battery life, spacious 160GB hard drive), it’s still a relic of the past. I mean, seriously, a click wheel? What is this, 2007? $329 at the Australian Apple Store [Gizmodo; Apple Store]

Classic Prints From The Onion: The comedy gods over at The Onion have their very own gifts for retro-minded buyers, creating “classic” Onion front pages from times in the publication’s fictional history (what, you didn’t know it was founded in the mid-18th century as “The Mercantile Onion” by Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel?). The all-time classic is “Holy Shit: Man Walks on F—king Moon”, but “Whites Invent ‘Rock and Roll’” and “Mr. T Releases ‘Pity List ‘86′” are both pretty amazing things to hang on your wall, too. Guaranteed to stop passersby and give them the giggles. $US33 each, framed and matted [Onion Store]

Trip to the Computer History Museum: You can be a retrophile and still love tech, and the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California is arguably the best place in the world to revel in the fascinating history of technological advancement. Right now, they’re celebrating the 50th anniversary of the integrated circuit, examining the history of computer chess and visible storage, and remembering Charles Babbage, inventor of the first automatic computing engine. Among those constantly rotating exhibits are jewels like the Cray 1 supercomputer, the world’s first Ethernet cable and a Tandy TRS-80. Free admission, but arrange your own flights… [Gizmodo; CHM Site]

DON’T BUY A Modern Smartphone: Anybody who yearns for the old days is going to find the idea of a powerful, always-connected pocket computer pretty threatening. Today’s smartphones are as powerful as the best desktop computers from 10 years ago and are only getting better. An iPhone, BlackBerry or HTC Magic might well explode a retrophile’s mind all over his face. But if he’s submitted to peer pressure and allowed a thoroughly modern iPhone into his classic-rock life, we do have one recommendation: The iRetroPhone iPhone app, which simulates an old rotary phone. $1.19 [iTunes]

Don’t forget to recommend your own favourite retro-centric gifts in the comments.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favourite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We’ll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

Apple Patent Describes iPod UI “Pushed” to Other Devices
An Apple patent filed in May 2008 describes a way of pushing whatever UI Apple wants to non-Apple hardware, for consistency’s sake. That non-Apple hardware could include car stereos or something like the Chumby One (which has iPod functionality but with a lookalike UI). It’s a nice idea for Apple, but could be tricky given the myriad of different hardware they might want to take advantage. What if the hardware has a resistive touchscreen, or a shitty processor? Might it just be better to use a custom interface for iPod integration? Regardless, it’s in Remainders because it’s not really that unexpected or interesting in its implications. [MacRumors]

Philips Announces Very Pretty Pro LCD Line
Philips’ new high-end LCD line looks pretty fantastic, with two important caveats. First, let’s drool a little: The two models (102cm and 117cm) have a 5,000,000:1 contrast ratio, 1ms response time, five HDMI ports (not sure why you’d need that many, but whatever) and a 200Hz refresh rate, with a nice brushed-aluminium look. Now, the caveats. First, they’re UK only, and second, they’re prohibitively expensive at about $US3000 and $US4100, respectively. Still, drool-worthy. [Engadget]

NYTimes Columnist Proposes Boycott of “Pro-Communist China” Bing
NY Times columnist Nicholas Kristof has proposed a boycott of Microsoft’s Bing search engine due to its supposed pro–Chinese government censorship of search terms like “Dalai Lama” and “Tiananmen” when searched in simplified Chinese characters. In English and other non-Chinese languages, the results you’d expect from “Tiananmen” show up, but in Chinese, apparently it returns sanitised results (no massacre, in that case). Since I’m not really sure how to type simplified Chinese characters on an all-Amurrican MacBook Pro keyboard, I haven’t tested it myself — but if true, it’s a little underhanded on Microsoft’s part, although certainly paling in comparison to, you know, the Chinese government. What’s odd is that Google’s Chinese search also returns censored results, but “to a much lesser extent”, so I guess it’s OK. Weird stuff. [TechFlash]

Ooma Adds New Handsets and International Plan
Internet phone company Ooma began shipping its new Telo handset as well as offering a very cheap international calling plan (500 minutes for $US5 per month). Ooma, for those who don’t know (I assume this includes everyone) varies from other VoIP services like Vonage by cutting out the monthly fees, instead packing them into a fairly expensive set-top box at $US250. So this international plan requiring a monthly fee is a big deal for them, but it winds up in Remainders because I honestly had not even heard of Ooma until this morning. Oops. [Electronista]

Brando calls it the USB Whirl Wind Warmer Cup and it’s all too lovely. It keeps your beverage at a comfortable 40C and stirs everything up at the push of a button. You can recharge the cup’s batteries using either an AC outlet or a USB port, so there’s no reason to be left without stirring power.

It’s $US37, and it may be my coffee cravings talking, but somehow that doesn’t seem too bad considering how much all my lost spoons add up to. [Brando via Red Ferret]

[TIFI via Boing Boing]

If you have a problem with your TV, like a certain 70-year old Missouri man did with his converter box during the DTV transition, DO NOT get loaded, shoot it and engage in a stand-off with the police. [Gizmodo]

If you work in a tech-related retail store, DO NOT do what 29-year-old Aaron Seiber did and stab yourself so you don’t have to go. Making up a phony story about a skinhead attack to the police doesn’t help matters either. [Gizmodo]

If you have trouble getting up the stairs, escalators are a real lifesaver. However, DO NOT use one like the man in this video.

If your phone dies, DO NOT take it to get fixed and threaten to shoot it in the shop with the 9mm concealed in your jacket. There are no mobile phones in prison — unless you have a really good hiding place (and there is only one really good hiding place). [Gizmodo]

If you have a tall hedge and no gadget designed to trim it, DO NOT raise your ride-on mower up with a crane to do the job like this lunatic from New Zealand. [Gizmodo]

So you have bought a new phone and you are not sure what to do with your old one. Unless is is complete garbage, DO NOT smash it. Mobile phone retailers have recycling bins specifically for old mobiles. If you want an iPhone to smash, there are cheaper ways to do it. [Gizmodo]

If your kid acts up, DO NOT drag him around on the floor with a leash. Someone with a cameraphone is bound to make a video of the whole incident and share it with the police.

If your internet connection goes down while playing an online game, DO NOT vent your frustrations by grabbing a knife and stabbing the first 15-year-old girl that walks down the street near your home. You could wind up in a mental hospital with pending manslaughter charges. [Gizmodo]

[Fleshlight]

As many Kindle owners already know, keeping a large number of books on the device can get a bit unruly — so this would be a welcome update. It’s also good news for people on the fence about whether or not to get a Kindle or a Nook over the holidays. It appears that the Kindle is going to be the only game in town until after the new year. [Kindle Facebook via Gadgetell]

Granted, it’s a little worrisome that Barnes & Noble is taking pre-orders before letting reviewers have their say, so maybe this enforced waiting period is a good thing. At any rate, it’ll be January — well after we’ll have run B&N’s Android-powered ereader through its paces — before anyone else will be able to get one. [B&N via Bits]

For sale November 30 in a limited run of 200 units, the kits run around $US125 (plus the cost of buttons, as I understand). As for the final built product, it features 16 programmable buttons and LEDs that allow you to cue your MIDI samples with all the finesse of button-mashing Shredder to death.

The only possible point of improvement would be a coin slot mandating occasional quarter-purchased continues. Or, you know, the addition of even more buttons (which is technically feasible with some modification to the kit). [djtechtools via MAKE]

OSA PB2 “Less-Lethal” Multipurpose Pistol
Ever since I watched Rosa Klebb trying to kill Bond with her shoe-dagger, I considered the Russians the world experts in tiny hideaway weapons. The PB2 is an eeency-weeency little double-barrelled “less-lethal” pistol weighing less than 200g, firing anything from rubber bullets to flares to flashbangs. It’s also got a safety and integral laser sights, which can be upgraded to near–Scott Summers strength on order. Just don’t practice on some poor country bumpkin like they did here. [OSA]

DrugWipe by Securetec
The DrugWipe is what makes the customs guys all-knowing. It’s a tiny drug test in a pocket. These plastic sticks can test up to four classes of illegal drugs in a single go. According to Securetec’s PR guy, your saliva can give you away 12 hours after doing — or even just being near — cocaine, weed, opium, meth or whathaveyou. All the government grunts have to do is wipe your tongue. Won’t open your mouth? They can also swipe your sweat and random stuff you’re carrying. [Securetec]

Spy Watch
When I approached the director of a small security/protection company to ask about this normal-looking watch, he wouldn’t tell me a whole lot. What I managed to squeeze out of him is that although it’s normal size, it also records audio and video. Near the two o’clock mark you can see a tiny lens, activated by buttons on the side. He wasn’t the only cagey guy on the show floor — the guys in a nearby booth forbade me from taking pictures of their micro surveillance gear.

Trikke uPT
The Trikke uPT (ultralight personal transporter) was the funnest (and funniest) thing at the entire expo, and that’s saying a lot when you’re surrounded by a pirateload of guns. It’s an idea so simple its inventor, the dark-suited Dutchman whizzing around on it, couldn’t figure why his potential buyers would spend any money at all on the wayyyy more expensive Segways parked in the next booth. The uPT is a trike tricked out with a 250W electric motor and a 35km range lithium-ion battery; it weighs just over 16kg. And like that blasted Segway, there are plenty of models to choose from. [Trikke]

RiotBot by Technorobot
The RiotBot is billed by its makers as “the first robot for riot control”. It uses a PS3-looking remote controller to zip this PepperBall-equipped metal beast at 20km/h into all kinds of riots. The carbine fires at 700 rounds per minute and can be operated for two hours. [Technorobot]

MaxFit Gloves
It’s usually next to impossible to do precise tasks with gloves on. Most of the time, your hands move around in the gloves, you can’t feel what you’re holding and you end up feeling as useless as a eunuch in a whorehouse. But the MaxFit workgloves are fanfriggintastic. They were the thinnest, grippiest workgloves I had ever worn. Their try-out test was having me grip an Armor-All lubed PVC tube, then try to twist it out of my hand — it didn’t budge. Unfortunately, though the site advertises that it’s good for construction, DIYers and backyard work, I couldn’t help but wonder what ulterior activities they were promoting it for at a security show. [MaxFit]

Piexon Guardian Angel
The Guardian Angel is a tiny plastic toy that looks like your niece’s water pistol, but it’s actually a lightweight, disposable two-shot explosive-propelled pepper-spray gun. The cartridges give it way more range than a spray can. Just don’t carry it around in Scandinavia or other places where it’s banned, or they’ll arrest you for it (like they nearly did with me two months ago). Buy the way, it’s interesting to note that the Piexon website names “liberal politics” as a chief reason for needing more protection these days. [Piexon]

Rimmex 288 Prototype Amphibot
The Rimmex 288 is a prototype amphibious robot that can roll straight into water — streams, rivers and lakes mostly, or just very muddy terrain — and then roll right back out again. Its single arm with six degrees of freedom can be swapped with whatever you like — from a gun to an X-ray, apparently, depending on your, uh, objectives. [ROV Developpement]

Apoorva Prasad is a freelance writer and photographer based in Paris, France, who recently covered the Milipol 2009 military-police expo for us. He has a thing for holo-scoped assault rifles and sounds disappointed when admitting he’s never been Tased.