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Fox News Says Climate Change Is A 'Superstition'

It’s no secret that Fox News doesn’t believe in the “elaborate hoax” of climate change, but now it’s not just a conspiracy between the world’s scientists, it’s actually being branded as a “superstition” within the scientific community that goes as far back as far as the Old Testament.

Fox News Just Had A Wonderful Homepage Malfunction

Whether Fox News got hacked (unlikely) or their giant new iPads are causing something to go haywire, the stars seem to have aligned in our favour today. And the result, friends, is glorious.

What's Fox News Do With Its Absurd, Giant iPads? Play Candy Crush, Duh

When Fox News first introduced its new news room full of ridiculously giant iPad-lookin’ Windows tablets, our first question was “why?!” but now that the team has done a little journalism on Candy Crush, it’s all suddenly crystal clear.

Why Is This News Room Full Of Absurdly Giant iPads?

Over on Fox News’ website, Shepard Smith gives us a tour of the the Fox News Deck’s upgraded studio which inexplicably features a team of staffers in the background working at what appear to be gigantic tablets. According to Smith, those are actually “information specialists” frantically pawing away at what Fox calls BATS — or big area touchscreens (most likely Microsoft hardware running Windows 8) — that puts 55 inches of Twitter feeds and other news sources at their fingertips. What?

Fox News Falsely Reports iPhone 5 Will Have Laser Keyboard And Holographic Images

Loyal viewers of Fox News (you poor bastards) will be pretty disappointed come September 21, when they discover their shiny new iPhone 5s have exactly none of the sweet features the NYC Fox affiliate has reported the phone to have.

Fox News' Twitter Account Hacked, Claims Barack Obama Is Dead

Needless to say, the President is very much alive and well, having not been “shot twice in the lower pelvic area and in the neck” as the @FoxNewsPolitics Twitter account claims.

I Made A Coitus Reference To, And They Quoted Me tech editor Jeremy Kaplan asked me if I think Apple’s lost its mojo. I responded using a metaphor pertaining to intercourse, particularly that moment after the fact, and he went with it. Hey, it was a good metaphor! []

Fox News To FBI: Get In Front Of Some High-Tech Looking Stuff!

That’s not an actual quote of course, but the scene here looks so contrived that it seems plausible. The scary thing is that the Cybersquad is protecting our data with old Dells, Windows XP and “intimidating” Matrix screensavers.

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