Joking aside, TiVo’s upcoming QWERTY remote is an interesting evolution of their classic peanut. Popping out like a slider, the backlit keyboard allows easy text entry for new TiVo Premieres.

It’s a bit large in your hand, which means it feels a tad less perfect than the classic TiVo remote. But the Bluetooth connectivity means you don’t need line of site, which is always nice.

However, when it’s available later this year for an undisclosed price, there’s a big catch: It will come with a USB dongle. The Premiere doesn’t have Bluetooth for reasons we don’t really understand (it’s not expensive at all to stick a Bluetooth chip into even small devices like mobile phones now). So, somewhat anticlimactically, TiVo’s flagship remote will require a Bluetooth dongle (on top of the Wi-Fi dongle you’ll probably need). I wouldn’t call this a dealbreaker, but for a company that designs a very small ecosystem of hardware, it’s not the best thought-out plan, is it?

According to Patently Apple, the US Patent & Trademark Office published an application from Apple on the 14th of January 2010, showing potential for the iPod to “double as a TV and Portable DVR”. Expanding on the iPod nano’s ability to pause and tag live radio, Apple’s supposedly looking into doing the same for the iPod, only with live TV.

DTV is still a relatively new concept to the western world, with LG introducing some of the first dedicated devices last month. It wouldn’t be too difficult for Apple to shake up the industry once again, doing for TV what it did for music and movies.

The patent explains the the Classic would use the clickwheel to change channels, and the iPod Touch would employ the use of the touchscreen in order to do so. Defining the technology, the patent says:

“a content stream may be a serialization or sequence of content. The content stream may be distributed in real time, such as a broadcast, or in non-real time, such as a network stream or podcast.”

If there’s one thing I know by now, it’s that this won’t come cheap, and that iTunes will be required every step of the way.

[Patently Apple via 9 To 5 Mac]

1. “Battlestar Galactica” (59.4)
2. “Mad Men” (57.7)
3. “Damages” (56.3)
4. “Rescue Me” (53.2)
5.(tie) “True Blood” (46.9)
5.(tie) “Stargate Universe” (46.9)
7.(tie) “Sanctuary” (45.9)
7.(tie) “Heroes” (45.9)
9. “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (45.5)
10.(tie) “10 Things I Hate About You” (44.9)
10.(tie) “Dollhouse” (44.9)
10.(tie) “Melrose Place” (44.9)

Other than a couple of tween-driven clunkers at the bottom of the list – and the people who forgot to take “Heroes” off their DVR in 2007 – this is a comprehensive list of some of the best, least watched TV of the year. Which makes sense, given the way the ratings are structured. A million people DVRing “Mad Men” is going to make a much bigger difference to that show’s time-shifted rating than a million people DVRing “American Idol”. So what you’re left with is essentially 10 shows with passionate, technologically savvy fan bases. Though it looks like in a couple of these cases, not quite passionate enough to save the show from extinction. Sorry, “Dollhouse”. I should’ve done more to spread the word. [NY Times]

The regulator is seeking comments “on how to encourage innovation,” which basically means how to move past the total failure of the CableCARD system and on to something that will democratize how and where you can access cable video streams. If you’re never heard about the CableCARD system, it’s effectively the only thing keeping you from using your Xbox 360 as a DVR. A potential change could open up cable signals to all devices, including your TiVo and Xbox 360.

And until very recently, you couldn’t even get your Windows PC to be a DVR unless you bought it OEM from HP or Dell or someone, where they would install the CableCARD for you at the time of purchase. Quite opposite from the way people pictured CableCARDs would work—and how it will work shortly.

Just how bad is it? Ars Technica points out that in the FCC report, a grand total of fourteen non-leased set top boxes were available in the US at retail in 2008. That means that nearly every set-top box in the US is leased by a cable company, allowing them virtually unlimited pricing control and no incentive to innovate. Compare that to the 879 devices for sale in the truly competitive mobile industry, and you can see just how throttled the market is by the cable industry.

There’s no telling what exactly is going to happen here, but at the very least it’s good to see the FCC continuing their push for openness and sanity. We’ve waited long enough for something that’s really not too much to ask. [ars technica]

The typical TiVo user is a person who just wants their TV recordings to work, regardless of the monthly fee. They may or may not be tech savvy, but chances are TiVo was their first DVR—since we’ve found, anecdotally, people gravitate back to the first DVR interface they use. So why is their marketshare down to 2004 levels? The answer is simple: cheap DVRs from providers are eating TiVo from the low end, and everyone else can now use Windows 7 and a tuner to act as a DVR just fine.

Cheap DVRs from Comcast, or Time Warner or your satellite provider have gotten good—or rather, less shitty—enough to make them actually viable options for home recording. Even I couldn’t turn down only paying an extra $US5 per month to have a recorder that works well enough to watch stuff with, even if you don’t have show recommendations, and fast forwarding barely functions well enough to stop where you want. But it’s $US5. $US5. Five. Dollars. And that’s without having to pay upfront for the box. You can rent three of these for the price of one TiVo subscription.

As for the big reason why you don’t need a TiVo anymore, in the future, you can thank Microsoft and Windows 7. Just take a look at that Windows 7 PC you have. Yeah, the one in your office. That can be your DVR. CableLabs finally took off their ridiculous OEM restriction on who can install CableCARD tuners—the device that actually takes a digital cable signal and turns it into something your computer can understand and record—so you can go and get one of these yourself for about $US200. So for $US200, with no future fees except for your normal cable bill, you can have yourself a home DVR that’s arguably as good as TiVo. And, much easier to expand and augment, both storage and functionality-wise, than a set top box.

And if you don’t want a computer in your living room (you need that thing in your office anyway), all you have to do is get an Xbox 360 and extend it. Multiple Xboxes mean streaming to multiple rooms, something that’s not even possible on a TiVo.

Of course there’s going to be a core group of TiVo users who really enjoy TiVo functionality, really appreciate their interface and can’t imagine using something else. But is that enough to sustain a business when so many other options are cheaper and just as good? The numbers say no.

AU: Obviously this is a very US centric view of the situation – in Australia, despite the fact that TiVo is somewhat hobbled thanks to its Freeview compatability, the fact is that PayTV is very different over here, as are the number of products available and the pricing. Plus, the new Caspa service coming to TiVo next week looks like it’ll push the Aussie version of the TiVo out in front of its competitors locally…

In case you forgot, Sezmi plans to roll up live broadcast and pay TV along with web videos, on-demand movies and DVR functionality in a single, easy to navigate set-top box. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and most of us probably relegated Sezmi to the vaporware bin. However, trials of the product have begun in LA and a $US25 million cash infusion from investors has given the project new life. In fact, it seems that Sezmi spent the last year working out deals with the likes of Sony Pictures, MGM Studios, Paramount Studios, Warner Brothers, Lion’s Gate Entertainment and Universal Studios for on-demand streaming, and ABC, CBS, CW, FOX, NBC, Turner, MTV Networks Discovery Channel, Telemundo and Univision for TV content.

Sezmi plans to offer a tiered pricing plan that starts with Sezmi Select, the entry tier, which will offer all local channels (in SD and HD) as well as access to on-demand content for $US4.99 per month. Sezmi Supreme will include cable and local channels for $US24.99 per month.

[Sezmi via Variety and Zats]

I like how they justify it:

There is time date stamp for the record, you can get the most authentic evidence for a variety of illegal behaviour. Ideal for CIA agents, police, detector, and spy agency.

That sounds about right, because we all know that CIA agents shop in Chinese crapware sites. The $US243 Pinhole Spy Toothbrush Hidden Camera DVR records 640×480 video in AVI format, using its internal 8GB flash memory. According to their product site, it looks exactly like a real electric toothbrush. It also looks like a whole bag of hurt to me. [Omejo]

The Cell Regza is Toshiba’s upcoming uberTV containing the Cell processor (you know from the PS3). After recording eight shows at once, you’ll have a lot of content to watch. But it won’t be listed like TV Guide.

Well, at least not in Roaming Navigation view.

Instead, the shows are grouped by relationship — common threads like genre, title and hours of original play. The more overlapping qualities, the closer the thumbnails are sorted to one another.

At first, the idea of sorting by title similarity sounds a bit ridiculous, but for those who watch CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI:NY, CSI:Indianapolis and CSI:Millersburg, OH, it’s probably pretty handy — especially if they watch Law & Order, too. [Tech-On]

TiVo’s approach here is direct and clear: This is a basic scheduling app, for searching for, reading about, and marking content for recording, in situations when you can’t get to a computer—though a good mobile app can keep a lot of people away of TiVo’s TV interface for good. It’ll work with Series2 or Series3 standalone TiVos, and BlackBerrys running OS 4.2.0 or later, and should be available in App World starting this morning. [TiVo]