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Colgate? Dead. Crest? Gone. Aquafresh? Don’t make us laugh. Look, people—laser toothbrushes are here. That means no more tarter, cavities or root canals. Life will be better. From the manufacturer Smart Miracles:
You know how a pressure washer can clean all of the crap off the side of your house and into those hard-to-reach gutters? Well, picture the same thing—only with your teeth.
In Brazilian industrial designer Fabio Dabori’s world, we won’t brush our teeth with bristles, synthetic reminders of a barbaric time we cleaned our teeth with animal hair. No, we are enlightened beings, and we will make our pearly whites beam eerily with…a sponge. Electric toothsponges.
Scientists are hard at work on making teeth regrow the crystals that make up dentin and enamel, allowing them to phase out fillings and drillings completely. The goal is to spot tooth decay early and then get the teeth to grow healthy tooth-matter over the bad spots. No fuss, no muss. They say that the tech will be ready for primetime in just a few years. So long, toothbrush! I don’t need you anymore! [Wired via Neatorama]
Flossing sucks. I tell my dentist I floss, but I really don’t, because I hate flossing. Using a waterpik is a nice alternative to flossing, but I’m not the kind of guy who goes out and buys fancy appliances for my mouth. This, however, could change that: the ShowerFloss. Attach it in your shower behind your showerhead and add your gums to the list of body parts you clean in the shower. It comes with two different coloured piks so you and your significant other can share the bounty of healthy gums, and it’ll set you back a mere $US25. Your dentist will be so proud! [Book of Joe]
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Say hello to Simroid, a new robot from Japan designed to help train dentists. Forgive me for being a little off-colour here, but this thing looks like it’s better suited to give BJs, but it’s looking a little too downsy to sell well in any of Japan’s numerous sex shops. In any case, it’s loaded up with sensitive teeth so it can say “that hurts” if it gets stabbed in the gums or something. It also has a gag reflex so it can react if an “instrument” is stuck down its throat. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to step away from the keyboard before I write jokes about this thing that’ll get me fired. Must… practice… restraint… [IT Media via Pink Tentacle]
Allow me to present to you the worst iPod accessory yet: a teeth-whitening system. Yes, the “Rock My Teeth” system promises a whiter smile with just 30 minutes of use. It works by sticking peroxide strips on your teeth. You then put the mouthpiece in your mouth, plug it into your iPod, and crank it up. You can listen to the music through bone conduction, and the vibrations apparently make the strips work better. At the end of the day, you’ll have whiter teeth and a lower iPod battery. Yahoo’s Christopher Null tried it out and said that it worked about as well as just using the strips, with the added bonus of the mouthpiece making you into a freakish, drooling mess. Yeah, I’ll pass, thanks. [Yahoo Tech]
Out here on the toothbrush beat, you run into all sorts of fear-mongering products such as the VIOlight Toothbrush Sanitizer. Now you can take that germophobia out on the road with the VIOlight Travel Toothbrush Sanitizer, a smaller version of that near-miraculous home version that probably does no good but might make you feel better anyway.
Just like the home version, this travel version works with ultraviolet rays, and its makers claim that 99% of the germs are killed in seven minutes. Never mind that the 1% of bacteria that are left are probably superstrong, and might just put the hurt on you 10 times as much. But then, the way you feel about this product is probably a whole lot more important than the way it actually works. But hey, it’s your $27.99. [productdose]