Here are a few choice excerpts from Regretsy; just a taste, mind you, no substitute for a visit. Be careful, though, because the amazing site is not always safe for work. Looking over the entries makes me wish it were as fictitious as Kasper Hauser’s brilliant—but mercifully fake—SkyMaul.

Whenever I hear “Michael Jackson”, I immediately think “baseball”. Well technically, I think “Little League”, but you know what I’m saying. [Link]

Usually I just use the guest towels when we’re out of toilet paper. [Link]

You know what goats like? They like grass. They don’t like having leopard outfits strapped to their sagging haunches like Kim Cattrall. [Link]

Santo trompas de Falopio! Who wouldn’t want to curl up with the stuffed reproductive organs of Mexico’s most famous bisexual surrealist? [Link]

It goes without saying “Santo trompas de Falopio!” is my new favourite expression of surprise. Hit the site for way more where this came from. [Regretsy (NSFW)]

Seriously. Why? [Casetation 2 at Flickr - Thanks (?), Akshay]

If you seriously can’t stop salivating over this thing, it’s $US20 at FredFlare. [FredFlare via technabob]

[Latestbuy]

Normally, we’d call a $US106 keyboard that boasts no significant features—aside from deadly cuteness and the ability to make grown men say “No, seriously, this is for my kid sister, honest” on command—a ripoff, but since this cat would skin us alive, we’ll stay quiet. Goes well with this, which is also pink, and therefore adorable.

Works with Windows XP, Vista and assorted torture devices. [Geek Stuff 4 You via Coolest Gadgets]

Even the packaging, by design, screams “EAT ME!” And, also just like the candy, these buds come in multiple colours for maximum toddler confusion: Red, pink, blue, orange, and white.

At $US10, they’re pretty cheap, which is good because ER visits aren’t. Available “soon,” possibly in the candy aisle or next to Maxell’s other new product, the Pencil Scalpel. [Coolest Gadgets]

Enticing marketing copy seals the deal:

Nothing lifts the spirits like a good yodel, but most of us don’t have the skill to yodel on cue. That’s where the Emergency Yodel Button comes in. Keep this 4″ x 3″ x 5/8″ plastic device with you at all times and when the need arises, press the button to hear the sweet mellifluous warbling of an alpine yodel.

That’s certainly correct. I neither have the ability, nor the desire, to emit a skilled yodel on cue. Costs $US12.50 and your dignity. FYI: Goes well with this. [Archie McPhee via Red Ferret]

Tipster Nick received his as a bonus gift from a work supplier and sent in some pics, which you can check out below.A quick Google search shows that you can pick up the Mee console from a number of online stores, with prices varying between $29 and $90. Included in that price you get:

* 16Bit CPU Core
* Wireless interactive game console with 7 interactive Sport games and 32 TV arcade games
* The controllers are very sensitive and quite accurate by cuilt-in sensors for movements in all play directions
* Plug’n'Play by connecting AV cable directly to the television
* 7 Interactive Sport games: Baseball, Golf, Tennis, Ping Pong, Soccer, Bowling and Boxing
* 6 Sport extensions for ultimate gaming sensation
* Wireless Game pad with 32 additional arcade TV games built-in
* Safety straps for the wireless controllers to protect the direct environment
* Supports battery operation (batteries not including) and power operation with the AC/DC adapter (including)
* Age group 5+
* Full color gift box and b/w Instruction manual

In case you were wondering what came in the box:

Needless to say, if you get one of these under your tree at Christmas time, somebody doesn’t really like you.

[Thanks Nick!]

Yes, BagTV is a real product. It’s available for $US436! I’m honestly wondering if they’ve sold a single one of these things. Not only is it as bad an idea as ideas come, but it’s insanely expensive as well. Really, please, someone justify this thing’s existence for me.

Worse: this isn’t even the first time someone has tried this idea. Was the first one such a success you had to rip it off? Good lord. [Bagtv via Red Ferret]

Get them while they last when they arrive in January for about $US130. [B4Tech]