The tale behind the auction is that somehow, out of the 100,000 condoms distributed during the Olympics, this guy managed to get 5000. I guess at some point it sunk in that if he hasn’t used a single one by now, he never will. But hey, his loss could be your pile of probably expired condoms. Let’s call it the non-gadget deal of the day. [Sports Rubbish]

Click here to download the fit kit in PDF format

Believe it or not, using a condom that is not suited for your penis increases the possibilities of breakage and slippage, which in turn increases the possibility of sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies. Even while they know this—as have been discovered in various studies—the FDA doesn’t allow for condoms that are longer, shorter, thinner or thicker than the average. That’s bad—not to mention effing annoying.

In Europe, however, men will be able to print out this measuring tool, and order exactly the size they need. Maybe someone will bring these condoms to Australia. For now, however, all you can do is print and play.

And yes, I measured it. [Theyfit—Thanks Debby]

Have trouble fumbling with slippery condoms in the heat of the moment? If faced with the choice, I’d choose practicing before using the Helping Hands Condom Applicator. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cry a little. [CollegeHumor]

Over a period of 7 years, broken condoms returned to a supplier (SSL, Durex) via consumer complaints were examined to determine the cause of failure. Also, some consumers who reported breakage but did not return condoms were sent a questionnaire on the causes of breakage. Finally, theories proposed for the mechanism of breakage were investigated on a laboratory coital model. RESULTS: Nearly 1000 (n=972) returned condoms made from natural rubber and polyurethane were examined. Visible features on those that were broken, were classified. Evidence combined from examining returns, questionnaire responses and the coital model strongly suggests a single predominant mechanism of failure we named “blunt puncture,” where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks.

Wait just a goddamned minute. People mail in their broken condoms?! What in the holy f–k? I’m as big a fan of providing feedback to manufacturers when products don’t work as advertised, but that’s downright disgusting. [NCBI ROFL via io9]

OK, it’s not. This is the Pūrleve, described by the manufacturer as a hygienic door handle.

As someone who has mastered the art of opening and closing toilet doors without touching the doorknob, I’ve to admit that the idea of the Pūrleve is a good one: Every time someone uses it, a mechanism will cover the handle with an “antimicrobial-treaded sleeve.” In other words: A doorknob condom.

As the company puts it:

Pūrleve reduces the amount of disease-causing germs and bacteria, helping in the global fight against germ cross-contamination.

Yes, yet another product that appeals to the global paranoia about infections and our hysteric need to sterilize the world. As far as I’m concerned, I just think that bathroom doorknobs are gross. [Purleve via Core77]

Yes, Wacky Rubbers! Nothing instills confidence in the ability of a condom to prevent pregnancy and STDs like having a face painted on it and lights built into it.

Not only that, but these things are shaped as well. Ears, hats, stars — each of them has a definitely non-penile shape to it that makes very little sense to me. I’m not sure if it’d be better or worse if they accurately retained their shape while in use. Probably worse.

Overall, these things look like craft projects from a 2nd grade class taught by Dr. Ruth. They’re pretty fun, but I can’t imagine they’ve ever been uses as intended. Yet. Just wait ’til my order of bull-shaped condoms that play Camptown Races and light up arrive. [Wacky Rubbers via The Daily What]

Like most areas, the vast majority of bulbs sold are frosted because of the unsightly glare coming from an exposed filament. By banning these bulbs, the EU can effectively force people to adopt more energy efficient bulbs like CFLs. This thin, heat-resistant silicone cover can be placed over a transparent bulb to transform it from clear to frosted.

I am all about adopting more energy efficient lighting, but a rule like this is probably a bit premature. CFLs often take a while to warm up, they can be a bit bulky and the light quality can sometimes be unappealing. These problems will be ironed out over time, but people shouldn’t have to put condoms over bulbs while they wait for CFLs and LEDs to better meet their needs. [Ingo Mauer via Designboom]

Nope, probably not. [Topless Robot via The Daily What]

Yes, like its predecesor, this is equally as stupid, but at least it can now be unlocked. [DeviantArt--Thanks Jordan]