The idea of growing tissue in a lab is nothing new, so why not breasts? It’s fun to think about, but there is a serious side to all of this as well. We know that there are benefits for patients suffering from disease and injury, but we have to ask ourselves: What implications could this technology have for elective plastic surgery?

Back in 2006, scientists discovered a clue to growing new breast tissue using mammary stem cells. While this development could lead to drugs that could stop cancer, it could also give plastic surgeons the ability to grow new breast tissue. Today we discovered that Australian scientists are starting trials of a procedure called Neopec that involves implanting a biodegradable, synthetic chamber containing a woman’s fat tissue in the breast. The chamber acts as “scaffolding” for new breast tissue to grow on.

As awesome as all of this sounds, think about the bigger picture here. Today, there can be a stigma associated with excessive physical augmentation. Do you think our views would change if a woman (or a man for that matter) could be “naturally” augmented through cell manipulation? [Telegraph via PopSci and Times Online]

Yes, this ludicrous item consists of a green bra that transforms into a putting green, with the cups turning into holes. Sink a putt and a speaker says “Nice shot!” There’s also a skirt that turns into a flag that says “Be Quiet” on it, for keeping onlookers hushed while you golf next to a naked woman.

What I like about the whole getup is how practical it is. [Pink Tentacle via Tokyo Mango]

While according to studies done on pigs, the entire procedure was safe and caused no internal damage, I somehow wouldn’t trust something as precious as my boobs to the Cup&Up. Line up for other procedures that worked in animals, but please just stick to wrapping bras around your breasts. [Isreal21c via MedGadget]

Based on my non-existent Chinese skills, I managed to understand that this inflatable bra makes boobs big, BIG, BIG. And I guess there are odd sound effects and things looking firmer? Can someone please watch this commercial and translate for me?

I just really need to know whether the voice-over guy or the girl with the measuring tape are included with the purchase or sold separately.

There are dozens and dozens of pictures of tits and arses shamelessly pressed against copy machine glass over at Vice, but I’ve sifted through them to pick out some prime examples of office pornography and the nine corresponding basic lessons about life.

Lesson 1: Carry Anti-Bacterial Wipes

There are a lot of germs around and they tend to build up on frequently used surfaces such as phones, keyboards, and of course, copy machines. Do you really want to carelessly touch that? Besides, those wipes are handy for a quick cleanup.

Lesson 2: Get Strange Skin Issues Checked Out

See that odd little mark on the underboob? It could be a bad copy job, an innocent beauty mark, or a malignant skin condition. Don’t take odd things like that lightly. (Especially if you encounter them a bit further south)

Lesson 3: Remove Your Watch Before Things Get Too Wild

As someone with long hair, I know the pain of getting your head yanked back because a curl got wrapped around a watch. Just take a second and slip off the timepiece, please. (Leave the socks on though, they’re kinda cute.)

Lesson 4: Know Your Size and Wear It

Whether bra or condom, learn what size you need to wear and actually wear it. Your naughty bits will thank you.

Lesson 5: Pack Spare Undies

They barely take up any extra space, but good God are there times you’ll wish you packed another pair of comfy boxers or an extra naughty bit of lace.

Lesson 6: Learn To Appreciate and Criticise Art

Whether you do it by taking an art class, brushing up on photography, or even just taking the occasional moment to enjoy the simple beauty of symmetry in nature, there’s just something about knowing how to properly appreciate and criticise art that’ll better you as a person.

Lesson 7: Lend A Hand To Those In Need

Be it assisting someone in staying on top of a copy machine or curing diseases, I firmly believe that good deeds make the world go ’round. And if nothing else, you’ll at least feel a bit more warm and tingly inside afterward.

Lesson 8: Plausible Deniability Is Your Friend

This gal has lesson eight down pat, I can’t even call her a hussy. She’s so cute and it looks like there weren’t any chairs left at the office party. Could be a complete accident that her skirt got hiked up so high.

Lesson 9: Unless Your Name Is Adam Frucci, Don’t Hump Gadgets

We can disagree about everything else, but I think there’s no argument about the fact that this gentleman is definitely doin’ it wrong and requires lessons which can only be taught by Adam.

Now that you’ve gotten a few lessons from this copy machine mischief, go see the rest of the photos at Vice and get a report of what else you learn on my desk by tomorrow. [Vice — Thanks, Joel!]

$15.17 AUD (plus $7.79 AUD shipping) gets you two battery-powered inserts.

Features from the site:

* Quickly improve, firm and increase your bust.
* Electronic Breast Enhancer Enlargement Massager Vibration.
* Inserts Breast Massager into your bra and gently massage your breasts to against age and gravity to help your breasts healthy.
* Most women wear Electronic Breast Enhancer at home, initially, just a half hour per day and then as required by seeing the results.
* The soft vibration was enjoyable for the women who have trailed the bra insert, which is have a small battery powered device built into it. ( each piece only powered by a AG13 cell )
* Dimensions: 9.3 x 4 x 0.4cm
* Color: picture show
* Weight: 119.9g

[Uxsight via RedFerret]

Yesterday I was reading a post on Gizmodo that talked about how, among other things, the only way to really test certain gadgets is to take them outside and use them in the real world (as in, there’s only so much you can know about a waterproof camera without using it wholeheartedly during fun summer outdoor oceanside play).

For me what came to mind is my iPhone. People who know me know that I love the outdoors and I generally have a pretty low-key lifestyle. I don’t wear a lot of make-up in my day-to-day life. I pretty much wash my hair and go, so it’s often wet if you see me before 10am. And whether clothes require dry cleaning or ironing play a large role in whether or not I will even purchase them (unless they are beautiful dresses, for which I have a weakness).

I also spend a lot of time outdoors walking, running, biking, swimming, tossing a frisbee or sitting outside reading. Being someone who enjoys their solitude, I do many of these things by myself. And because I like to make sure I can get help if needed, my iPhone almost always joins me on my excursions.

When I run, I leave it at home (I don’t run far enough for it to be a big deal). But when I go on long walks or even short bike rides, I bring my phone and yet I need my hands to be free, so I have to put my iPhone somewhere. As practical as so-called bum bags may be, I refuse to wear them so my iPhone almost always ends up in my breasts/sports bra. In my case, this is a pretty decent place to keep it although — like sex — some positions work better than others.

I’ve found that having the iPhone totally immersed in said breasts (top photo) is the best for keeping the iPhone safe during my walks and bike rides so that it doesn’t accidentally fall out and meet an untimely death or cracked LED or screen. On the down side, my walks sometimes last for an hour or longer and, if I accidentally turn the screen toward my skin rather than my clothes, then the iPhone’s screen gets quite smeared (I slather my entire body with lotion each morning to keep it soft, so it may be the lotion — and not just sweat — that’s getting on the screen). But you know that look that your iPhone screen gets if you hold it in the palm of your hands for 10 minutes, or up against your face while talking on the phone for longer? It’s that times ten, which is kind of gross.

I’ve tried to keep more of the iPhone peeking out of my clothes (see middle photo) but I’ve had a few near-drops so have nixed that position.

When I first got my iPhone, I thought it would be held in place better if I tucked it under my sports bra straps (see bottom photo) but not only did that feel awkward, it also nearly slipped out a few times. Hence, the top position won. (Oh, and in case you’re wondering about keeping it in my shorts – that’s a big no. The waist band on my running shorts is not tight enough and I don’t wear lyrca biking shorts, which would probably work fine for holding the iPhone since they can’t slip through the bottom as they can with running shorts).

I do worry sometimes that the sweat and/or lotion will – over time (or on a very warm day) – be enough to cause water damage to my iPhone and be detectable as such at the Apple store. And then I wonder if the guys at the Genius bar will consider storing one’s iPhone in one’s breasts as “normal use” or as “mis-use”? Would the hypothetically damaged phone be able to be switched out? Would this be a very awkward conversation at the Apple store when I swear that while I didn’t drop it in a puddle, I did regularly keep it in my breasts while biking? Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. It would be awkward (but funny) to have to demo this at the Apple store.

UPDATE: I’ve been told that my use of the word “slather” was perhaps too sultry. It wasn’t intended as such. Let me clarify: I put on a bunch of lotion. On all 65.5 inches of me. And the entire process takes about 5 seconds. Hence, I say “slather” rather than “place” lotion. [My Sex Professor]

Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, is the Associate Director of the centre for Sexual Health Promotion in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation at Indiana University (IU) where she is a Research Scientist. She is also a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction where she writes (and hosts audio podcasts of) the Kinsey Confidential column and coordinates educational programming. She has a PhD in Health behaviour from IU, a Master’s degree in Public Health Education (also from IU) and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Maryland, College Park. In addition, she is certified as a Sexuality Educator from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Debby writes regular sex columns for Men’s Health magazine, Time Out Chicago magazine, Velocity, Cheeky Chicago, Psychology Today and she has also written for Glamour magazine.

According to the company, this “micro-computerized, low-voltage, intensity adjustable” Magic Massage Bra will do all these things:

• Make breast up.
• Dredge breast glands.
• Eliminate blood stasis.
• Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
• Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
• If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal
secretion.

Whatever all that pseudoscientific crap means, don’t buy this snake oil. If you are a woman, get a magnetic bra or a bra booster instead and call the boyscouts for your breast massages. [Alibaba via Nerd Approved]

While the manufacturer claims that Breastlight is not a substitute for a professional mammogram screening, the $US125 device could be a potentially lifesaving device, as it could be used as a monitoring and early warning gadget at home. Women are advised to use their hands to feel their breasts for lumps in the shower, but with this light they can actually see what is going on and see changes through time. In the case she finds something weird, they can go to the doctor for an expert opinion. And if it’s nothing, great. But better be an alarmist than sorry.

The Breastlight—which comes with a temperature sign to warn about overheating and has rechargeable batteries—only activates at full power when the lens get in contact with the skin. And yes, you may be able to do the same with a really powerful flashlight, but I will advise against that. [Breastlight via Medgadget]

(Yes, not the kind of breast fondling you were expecting, you pervs)