I've been staring at this ad for hours and I still can't really figure out who Japanese company Wish Room's Man Bra (or, as Seinfeld fans would probably call it, The Bro) is for. Drag queens unsatisfied with the options at their local Victoria's Secret? Dudes with a fear of nipple chaffing? Kevin James? Either way, this manssiere is promising to make you feel just as purdy as the vaguely Russian-looking man modelling for them. Considering he's not even wearing one, I wonder if he has any idea what he's posing for. [Wish Room via Gizmodo Japan]

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Not satisfied with the amount of boob-touching going on in real life (shocking!), a Japanese programmer after our own hearts created paiTouch (oh wit! pai = slang for boobs)--an iPhone touchscreen version of his much more intensive Flash simulator complete with motion physics algorithms for "realistic" jiggling and plenty of customisable parameters. The iPhone webapp port runs in javascript and is a little jerky--if it looks like you're pushing an unresponsive milk puddle around a black screen, you would be right--a far cry from the "oppai enjinia's" promised "Tits always in the pocket" (Google Translate's words not mine!). But hats off for trying. Check the Flash version here (pretty much SFW, aside from the creep-o factor) for the true experience. [Technohippy (Translated) via Crunch Gear]

If you're a 13-year-old boy or just someone with the maturity level of a 13-year-old boy, you'll love this breast-related mouse and mouse pad combo. The mouse features a couple of boobs as buttons, while the mouse pad uses boobs as a wrist rest. For $US38, it's probably the only way you're ever going to get your hands on two pairs of breasts at the same time, with the added bonus of people feeling sorry for you when they see your computer setup. It's a win/win! [Product Page via CrunchGear]

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Are you looking to create a reputation as a sleazy douchebag fun-loving ladies man? Then why not become the life of the party with the Boob Tube beer bong? It works just like any other beer bong, except instead of sucking on a cut-off piece of garden hose, you can suck on a breast-shaped piece of plastic!

Or, if you're that way inclined, you could always check out the Dong Bong. If you aren't sure what bodty part that one's shaped after, hit the NSFW link at the bottom of the post.

The best part is that in today's internet age, photos of you sucking down the amber fluid from a plastic organ will almost certainly end up online, giving you the reputation you always wanted.

Both are available online for US$22.95.

[Sexy Beer Bongs (slightly NSFW link) via Nerd Approved]

Policewomen in Germany are getting another layer of protection thanks to a new bra that has been secretly tested for the last two months. I never thought about it before but it makes sense that a woman could still sustain life-threatening injuries when shot wearing a standard bullet-proof vest. Traditional bras can have metallic or plastic parts that could tear into flesh when impacted with a bullet. This new version features thick pads for protection and a blend of cotton, polyester, spandex and polyamide with no buttons or fasteners. That's all well and good, but my question is what about the guys? When are the bullet-proof boxes coming out? [Bild via Crunchgear]

Adrienne So over at Slate has used her natural gifts to come up with the most genius idea yet: an energy-generating bra. Instead of just holding her boobs in place and dispelling that excess kinetic energy into, I don't know, heat, why not use it to power a gadget? According to a breast specialist, a D-cup in a lousy bra moves up to 35-inches up and down during exercise. Professor Wang of Georgia Tech is working on just this problem, using nanowires inside fabric to convert that visual spectacle into something useful. But is it enough to power an average iPod? This Wang says yes. [Slate]

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Anyone who likes their, um, oranges, um, freshly-squeezed by hand in the morning should, perhaps, think about buying 2Juicy, a manual juicer from SuckUK. Anyone who doesn't should stick with their Braun automatic one—then at least you'll have one hand free for whatever else you like to do when you're squeezing oranges. [SuckUK]

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Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for the greatest invention of the 21st century so far: the Breast Massage Robot. Yes, this miracle of modern science is designed for all sorts of women, from "girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast" to "women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities" to "women who want to have pretty breasts." And it only gets better from there.

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