The Air Force and Boeing achieved a directed-energy breakthrough with these tests. MATRIX—Mobile Active Targeting Resource for Integrated eXperiments—performance is especially noteworthy because it demonstrated unprecedented, ultra-precise and lethal acquisition, pointing and tracking at long ranges using relatively low laser power.

I’m sure that description would get Governor Tarkin wet. Boeing — along with the Air Force and the Army — also tested the Laser Avenger, a kinetic-laser hybrid weapon that fires a high power death ray coupled with a 25mm machine gun.

Obviously, the kids in the funny uniforms are happy with their new toys, but I would like to see if they can do the same with a small thermal exhaust port only two metres wide. [Boeing via PopSci]

A world with ejection seat chairs, airplane piston engine tables and a mirror bed made of wings, with a big-boobed blonde always by the side, preferably in a stewardess costume and semi-transparent yellow lace lingerie. [Motoart via BornRich]

The Boeing Company (NYSE: BA) today announced that the first flight of the 787 Dreamliner is expected by the end of 2009 and first delivery is expected to occur in the fourth quarter of 2010.
The new schedule reflects the previously announced need to reinforce an area within the side-of-body section of the aircraft, along with the addition of several weeks of schedule margin to reduce flight test and certification risk. The company projects achieving a production rate of 10 airplanes per month in late 2013.

There you have it. According to their press release, the fabled Boeing 787 Dreamliner will finally take off by year’s end. With their credibility completely gone, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I think I will do both. [Boeing]

I’ll let Boeing tell you the latest snafu, with no snarky blogger filter:

“In two areas on the fuselage, the structure doesn’t have the long-term strength that we want,” said Boeing spokeswoman Lori Gunter.

What that means is wrinkles. Dangerous, drop-out-of-the-frickin-sky wrinkles that negatively effect the plane in ways I don’t want to think about given I’m already antsy about air travel.

Carbon fibre patches or not, customers were expect the first Boeing 787 order to be filled by first quarter 2010. That’s not going to happen. As we’ve detailed here in the past, the phrase “perpetual delay” has become synonymous with the 787 project, which has cost Boeing billions of dollars. Seventy-two planes have been canceled thus far. [Silicon Valley via Slashdot]

Last week the Seattle Times reported that the damage observed during a ground test of the Dreamliner happened very late in the test, more specifically:

Just beyond “ultimate load.” That is defined as 50 percent higher than the in-service limit load and is the Federal Aviation Administration’s test target.

That would’ve been just fine and dandy, except that it turns out that they were just a little bit off and the damage actually occurred “well below the load the wings must bear to be federally certified to carry passengers.” Whoops.

The structural flaws are described as

Stresses at the ends of the long rods that stiffen the upper wing skin panels caused the fibrous layers of the composite plastic material to delaminate.

Those long rods lead to the joints of the wings which connect to the body of the plane which lead to a fuselage box where excess load is transferred—-who cares how everything is connected? “Delaminate” as in “to split into thin layers”! Somehow I’m not reassured by being told that the delamination of the wing skin “isn’t likely to lead to catastrophic failure of the aeroplane,” though obviously they’re not changing the design because it’s not an issue. What’s that? They are? Ah, well. What’s another delay when the plane is already two years late? [Seattle Times]

[Jalopnik]

Is this thing ever going to fly? [Flight Global and Flight Global]

New Yorkers Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor tied the knot on Zero Gravity Corp’s G-Force One, a padded Boeing 727-200 flown with parabolic zero-g-inducing maneuvers.

The bride had to tie her hair down so that it didn’t float. The groom wired his tux tails so that they wouldn’t develop a mind of their own.

As you might expect, the ceremony was actually quite awkward since it consisted of a multiple microgravity first-timers donning formal gowns. At one point, a member of the bridal party’s ring floated off, confusing the bride and groom as to just what to do with a third wedding band.

And then there was the magic of the first kiss:”The physics of the first kiss were off. I could feel where I was going, I knew where I needed to be, but it was hard to reconcile the differences,” he told reporters.

“Noah knocked into my nose and I thought it would bleed,” Finnegan said.

Beautiful. Read the full story over at Reuters. [Reuters via Bornrich]

Rob Cockerham at PopSci got to see it in action, and took a few photographs of this mighty—and extremely useful—sploshing megalomaniac dream machine. [Popsci]

Remember the Boeing 787 Dreamliner? You know, the eternally-delayed wonderplane? Well, rejoice because it has started the engines in a huge puff of smoke. All on its own, which is a first according to Boing:

The occasion marks the first all-electric start of a commercial jetliner engine on a twin-aisle commercial jetliner; the engines had been started electronically in test facilities earlier.

OK, Boeing, if you say so, I believe you. They used the Auxiliary Power System to power the start of its two Rolls-Royce Trent 1000 engines. Now, what I really want to know is when are they testing the orgy room. [Flight Global]