Not laser beams, but close. The Telegraph is reporting that German Shepherds are being trained by the elite British SAS to perform high-altitude high-opening (HAHO) parachute jumps over Iraq and Afghanistan harnessed to soldiers. Once on the ground, the dogs will charge ahead, rooting out dug-in enemies and sending back a live video feed from a tiny head-mounted camera. That is if their little doggie minds haven't been blown by the 25,000-foot jump they just performed.

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The robot tinkerers over at Crabfu have made a remote-controlled tortoise that ambles around using 4 sub-micro servos controlled by a 4 channel radio system. Each leg is tied to an independent channel and axis, which means the robot moves through some serious thumb twiddling action. Besides proving that it could move forwards and backwards and all around, Crabfu also put the mechanical hero in a half shell through the rigid "Does it annoy the cat?" test. Unfortunately, it seems like this green machine has nothing on its real life counterpart:

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What's a better keychain than a dead goldfish? I mean, sure, it'll come as a live goldfish, but seeing that this is a sealed keychain, it won't be alive for long. Apparently, vendors in Qingdao, China are selling these horrifying things, with the fish surviving mere hours after being placed in their death cells. Pretty gross stuff, right there. I'll stick to my classy kewpie bondage keychain, thanks. [Weird Asia News via Geekologie]

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The Wall Street Journal has a great feature this morning about pets and household robots, such as Roombas and Pleos. Writer Andrew Lavallee has compiled all sorts of anecdotes—including useful tips on how to bed your pet in with the 'bot in your life, including protecting your Sony Aibo from cat bites (cayenne pepper and Cholula hot sauce applied to the 'bot butt, apparently). One dog owner told off the Roomba in front of his mutt, and the dog never lunged at the robot vacuum again. [WSJ]

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I was surprised to learn that the CIA has had a long though not always fruitful relationship with the animal kingdom. In Spycraft, the authors describe many clever animal-assisted devices, from the dead-rat dead-drop pouch to the "acoustic kitty," a cat with a remote listening system embedded in its body. And what's this about the 1 million bats the CIA's precursor, the OSS, were gonna use to firebomb Tokyo during WWII?

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Your goldfish may never truly be free, but if you had one of these infinity aquariums you can trick them into thinking they are thanks to a design that "loops the fish around in an infinite tunnel of water and glass." It's like a mini fortress of solitude for your little underwater friends—giving them a life precious semi-freedom before you unceremoniously flush them down the toilet. Not surprisingly, the "Swimming Around In Circles" aquarium is only a concept at this point.

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This is Jessica, a hippo that was found abandoned as a baby but is now the pet of the Joubert family in South Africa. It thinks it's people! There's no gadget connection here, but when Blam says it's animal day, who am I to argue? Hit the jump for another picture of a hippo in someone's living room. What a world, am I right guys?!?

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In much the same way that science came to the rescue for a tail-less dolphin, a very dedicated group of volunteers is working hard to develop a robo-beak for one unfortunate eagle. "Beauty" was the victim of a hunter's bullet a number of years ago, leaving her unable to clutch or tear at food. Over the course of the last two years, a crack team composed of mechanical engineers, dentists, and veterinarians has been assembled to design and attach a lightweight nylon-composite beak formed using molds made from computer models.

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I asked Wilson why we had two animal posts on the page, back to back. Seems like overload on critters. But then I kind of remembered I really LIKE animal + gadget stories. I mean, FuzzyWuzzyModo was my idea, and all. So, I think we'll do a few more posts like this, for the hell of it, on this slow news day. Look, a polar bear pretending to be on the phone! Leave a caption! [Photo via Dark Roasted]

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Squirrels. They're rats with fluffier tails, and the little bastards used to steal the peaches off of my grandma's trees while our brilliant but useless dog watched. Sonic repellents are nothing new (for animals or people), but the Mega Sonic Scatter-Cat adds a mega-dose of cheap toy cheesiness, making noise assaults on furry pests mildly more entertaining. Plus, laser sight! And it's only like US$20. I'd pay an extra 10 bucks for a youngster setting. [Maplin via Crave]

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