1. The Push Up Pro

It’s an age old question: Where do you put your hands when doing push-ups? If “the floor” seems like a naive answer, then the Push-up Pro is your salvation. The set of oversized rotating saucepan lids is designed to tone and strengthen your upper body, without expensive workout equipment. Erm… okaaaay. [Push Up Pro via Amazon]

2. ROM – The Four Minute Cross Trainer

More like a medieval torture device than a cross-trainer, this beast promises the ultimate workout in just 4 minutes. All for a lowly $US14,515. But why so expensive? It’s perfectly reasonable, really. In fact, we’ll leave it to the manufacturers, who explain it so succinctly;

“People routinely buy airline tickets for $500 or more where they could have purchased a $200 bicycle to travel the same distance but they decide air travel is cheaper because they get from A to B in a fraction of the time. The same goes for our ROM machine. It gets you from A to B in exactly 4 minutes per day. Not the average of 60 minutes that people spend to get the same or even fewer benefits from exercise. More importantly, people will actually do the 4 minute exercise because it does not take a lot of self-discipline as opposed to having to do 60 minutes of exercise.”

Our logic, precisely. [Fast Exercise]

3. Go Girl

It’s a mask. No, it’s a shoe horn. Nay, it’s a fud! Ladies, rejoice! Thanks to this nifty female urination device, now you can finally pee like a man. Granted, this is more a fitness aide, than a fitness gadget. But just imagine all those long hikes you can take without the much-dreaded bush-squat. As the manufacturers claim; “It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.” It’s peeing in a funnel. [Go Girl]

4. The Osim iGallop

The iGallop lets you tone those pesky lower regions and look like an absolute moron, all within the comfort of your own home. The equestrian simulator features three intensities: trot, gallop and race, while a fourth option randomly switches between the three. As the multi-directional saddle moves, muscles are involuntarily engaged, effectively giving you a full body workout without any conscious exertion. Much like a fit. It’s zero-impact—unless you count falling off the contraption—and ideal for those who don’t mind a dislodged vertebrae or two. Wanky hat sold separately. [Osim]

5. The Shake Weight

Tired of spending gruelling hours in the gym to tone your arms? Fret no longer. The Shake Weight has arrived and it will tone your arms in just six minutes a day. The key, according to its manufacturers, is the principle of “dynamic inertia” to increase the muscle activity in your arm. Simply hold the 5kg beast, turn it on and let it work your hand in a jerking motion. We just have one quick question; does anyone find the Shake Weight suggestive? Because for the life of us, we can’t imagine why. [Shake Weight]

6. The Hawaii Chair

“If You Can Sit, You Can Get Fit, The Hawaii Chair.” With a tagline like that, there’s not much else we can say really. It’s a cushioned seat mounted to an electric motor, which claims to twist your flabby gut into a six pack, while you sit and go about your day. We just don’t know what’s more disturbing; watching people gyrate suggestively on an office chair, or watching people gyrate suggestively on an office chair, as they pretend that it’s perfectly normal to gyrate suggestively on an office chair. Maybe the tagline should be changed to; who needs to have an office affair, when you can pelvic thrust, fully dressed, at your desk. [Hawaii Chair]

Playing With Balls is Gizmodo AU’s week-long look at the technology behind the sports we love, from the jerseys to the balls and everything in between. Go team!

The jerseys have undergone somewhat of a change in recent years. Traditionally an all cotton affair, polyester now dominates the mix, with more and more sides incorporating the synthetic fibre into their jerseys as the fabric becomes cheaper. Of course, the shift to synthetic hasn’t just been a matter of finance; polyester absorbs less water, while its inherently slippery texture make the jerseys harder for opponents to grab.

But it was the advances made in the 2007 World Cup that really lit up our Gizmodean eyes; it was then that the world was introduced to the ionised jersey phenomenon. Developed by iconic Kiwi brand Canterbury, the IonX shirts—or ‘wearable steroids’ as those clever little marketing mites soon dubbed them—were made from a fabric containing embedded negative ions which reacted to sweat.

Fancy scientific label aside, the ionised jersey was (and still is) said to boost player performance by increasing blood flow, oxygen delivered to the muscles, average power output (by 2.7%), as well as speed up recovery. As Prof. Mike Caine, head of the Sports technology and innovation department at Loughborough University—the UK’s unofficial home of sporting excellence—explained in ‘08; “With the benefit of time and further studies it should be possible to understand how to maximize the potential of IonX, however it is already clear that the garments have the potential to make a valuable contribution to the performance of athletes during training and competition.”

That said, ionisation itself was not exactly a new technology; the process had long been understood and used by former Eastern bloc sporting bodies. But in the traditional rugby world the technology caused a stir. While teams such as eventual World Cup winners the Saffas, the Aussies and Scotland were more than happy to trial IonX jerseys, several others (presumably France and England) questioned whether the fabric was legit and sought clarification from the World Anti Doping Agency.

In response, the agency issued a statement explaining that because there was no hard scientific evidence supporting the claims that changes in the body ion charges or magnetic field distribution enhance performance, nor were there any actual drugs in the IonX fabric, there was no reason to ban the use of IonX shirts.

Two years on and the IonX jerseys are still in use — and jumping codes. Premiere League team Portsmith and La Liga’s Deportivo La Coruna are just the latest in a long line of teams to wear the jerseys.

Of course, as with anything in technology, the science behind rugby jerseys is still developing. It will be interesting to see what irons out at the next World Cup in 2011.

Playing with balls is Gizmodo AU’s week-long look at the technology behind the sports we love, from the jerseys to the balls and everything in between. Go the Two Blues!

AFL teams first trialled the technology back in 2005. Collingwood and the Brisbane Lions were the main adopters. And, with many of their contemporaries following suit, the AFL soon allowed the use of GPS in game situations as well as training. 2006 saw NRL teams Manly and Melbourne take the tech to an entirely new code. Jump to 2009 and not only have rugby and soccer teams jumped on the band wagon, but 14 of the 16 national first grade league teams are using GPS — which leads to the NRL giving sides the green light to wear GPS units in matches.

So why, you ask, use GPS in football? Horrid attempt at humour aside (yay stereotypes!), GPS provides the coaching staff with detailed, accurate and objective feedback on how monitored players are performing. They can measure a wide variety of stats, not least of which are overall distance covered, top speed, heart rate variation, work rate, body load, as well as forces and impacts withstood. The systems provide both real time and retrospective data analysis, which allows coaches to work out not only how players are fairing in a game situation, but compare it to their past performances and training workloads.

So, say Lions coach Michael Voss needs to know how star player Jonathan Brown is travelling; how many kilometres has he run, tackles has he made, bone crunching tackles has he sustained? Voss need only to turn to the stats—and the physios who have studied them—to know whether Brown should be pulled from the field.

Or let’s pretend an unnamed AFL side begins monitoring players during their captains run. It’s Thursday. The coach learns that his players run a staggering 16km, only to back it up with another 16km during the game no more than three days later. Said coach soon realises his players face burnout and brings the captains run back a notch. He lessens the chance of over-training his players — a common occurrence in southern hemisphere sports, which will become telling later in the season as the intensity of the game heightens.

As is often the case, overseas clubs are now adopting the technology and looking Down Under to lead the way. Premier league giant Chelsea has recently found—pun entirely intended—GPS, along with Spanish football club Valencia FC and the Irish rugby union squad.

Of course, GPS does not guarantee a win; after all, it doesn’t actually make a tackle or kick a goal. But it does enable coaches to maximise player performance, making for a more effective and efficient use of player energy. It just has us wondering; what’s next?

Playing With Balls is Gizmodo AU’s week-long look at the technology behind the sports we love, from the jerseys to the balls and everything in between. Up the Bombers!

For more details, click through to the seminar web page and register.

Did we mention it includes breakfast?

[Citrix]

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