Actress Meghan Markle has axed her personal Instagram and Twitter accounts ahead of her planned wedding to Prince Harry later this year. The move puts her in line with the rest of Britain’s royal family, whose social media presence is limited to tidy official group accounts. But here’s a lifehack Big Like doesn’t want you to know: Even filthy commoners like us can quit this shit for good.
For the scepters and tiaras set, the reasons to log off are numerous. Embarrassing missteps, expressions of the slightest political sentiment, and botched PR rollouts could all reveal them to be slightly less perfect (or more interesting) than they’d like you to believe. This, however, is one luxury that isn’t exclusive to the world’s literal kings and queens. You, too, can quit social media today and avoid showing your arse online. We even wrote a guide!
Maybe you think you have nothing to worry about. Maybe you think your posts are “actually good.” I assure you they are not. Even if they were, tearing your eyes away from social media’s daily onslaught of horror and misinformation is a small but important way you can treat yourself like the king or queen you are.
Monarchy stans desperate to follow the daily minutia of Markle’s life must now rely on curated updates from Kensington Palace’s social team. If you still feel compelled to share perky updates about how great your family is with the world, consider hiring a similar collective of social managers to manage your online presence. Or maybe just ask that one nephew who’s good with computers to do it. It doesn’t really matter, as long as you, yourself, remember to never, ever tweet.
For centuries, inbred weirdos in castles ruled every aspect of our lives. These days, they mostly just suck up public assistance that might be better spent on, I don’t know, helping sick kids or something. In the not-to-distant future, a secret algorithm originally designed to sell you novelty hats will probably be the one imprisoning you for lèse-majesté against The Benevolent Zuck. By then, it will all be too late – but we don’t have to make it easy for them.