In the latest salvo of the ongoing Apple vs FBI salvo, Florida GOP congressman David Jolly has introduced a (doomed) bill banning the US federal government from purchasing unpatriotic, terrorist-loving iPhones. Taking this logic to the extreme, here’s a more complete list of products that should be boycotted.
A who’s-who of Silicon Valley companies have voiced legal support for Apple’s position. If we assume, therefore, that Rep. Jolly would also support a boycott of those companies and their products, here is a short list of things the federal government will no longer be able to use:
- Computers containing an Intel processor
- Twitter (send comments to @USRepDavidJolly)
- Facebook (remember to like Congressman David Jolly)
- Phones running Android
- Computers running Windows
- Windows Phone devices
- Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo Mail, Hotmail or any email hosted on a Microsoft Exchange server
- Yahoo! Answers
- YouTube
- Websites or services hosted on Amazon Web Services
- Mobile or landline internet from AT&T
- WhatsApp, Snapchat or Instagram
- Networks using Cisco hardware
- Nest thermostats
- Dropbox or Box (or Google Drive, iCloud, Flickr or Microsoft OneDrive for that matter)
- eBay
- Chrome, Internet Explorer, Firefox or Safari
If you can think of any other 9/11-supporting, ISIS-loving technologies to boycott, feel free to email Congressman Jolly. I’m sure he’ll love reading your messages on his AMD-powered Linux machine via AOL.