Yahoo Said To Be Exploring Strategic Options

Yahoo Said to Be Exploring Strategic Options

Yahoo is having a midlife crisis. Today, the company announced that it's seeking strategic alternatives (that is, looking to sell some or all of its properties) in an attempt to generate more cash and please shareholders. "The Board also believes that exploring additional strategic alternatives, in parallel to the execution of the management plan, is in the best interest of our shareholders," said Yahoo's Chairman of the Board Maynard Webb in a statement.

This is just the latest in a string of nightmares for Yahoo: A lawsuit filed earlier this week calls out Yahoo's controversial performance review system that forces managers to rank every employee on a scale of 1 to 5. The company also reportedly failed to grow its advertising revenue during a period where Google and Facebook both experienced explosive growth. Yahoo has messed up so many times, we even put together our own list of the best ones.

Meanwhile, in crazy town, Yahoo CEO and documented Zamboni-lover Marissa Mayer pledged to continue marching her failed business plan forward. "Today, we're announcing a strategic plan that we strongly believe will enable us to accelerate Yahoo's transformation," she said in a statement. "This is a strong plan calling for bold shifts in products and in resources."

What happens next to Yahoo is anyone's guess. Let's just hope it involves more sweet, sweet Zamboni action.

[Yahoo]


Comments

    Anyone that has worked for a very large organisation knows that "seeking strategic alternatives" means that the highly paid "management" have absolutely no idea why they are failing and absolutely no idea what to do about it and absolutely no idea if one of their so called strategic alternatives will be any better. I'd start fixing the company by immediately sacking every senior manager and appointing one of their underlings to their job, starting with Mayer and going at least 2 more levels down.

    What's the gif supposed to be and how is it linked to Yahoo?

      It's Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer riding a Zamboni at a staff party they spent a bazillion dollars on whilst shareholder value goes down the toilet.

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