Queensland Miners Are Using Fake Penises To Cheat Drug Tests [NSFW]

Urine-based drug tests require a person to be clean of any prohibited substances for 72 hours to pass, but for some this is still far too long. For those people, there's a huge market selling prosthetic penises and synthetic urine to beat these tests. Some of the most common customers for these products have turned out to be miners in Queensland — where workers are required to undergo mandatory testing while on the job.

Images via passmydrugtest.com.au

While these kits are sold worldwide, a report by Vice shows that Queensland is a hotspot for cheating drug tests. As it is identified as a high risk industry, mining has had a long history of drug and alcohol testing, introduced as a measure to manage potential risks to health and safety. It's also an industry in which drug and alcohol abuse is a known problem, as chronicled in a 2013 issue of the Australasian Mine Safety Journal. The research cited has shown that miners have often used different strategies to keep ahead of the tests — including the use of synthetic drugs, and drugs like methamphetamines that metabolise quicker than other substances.

Now, thanks to sites like passmydrugtest.com.au, miners can instead use a kit consisting of freeze-dried synthetic urine, heat packs, a refilling syringe and, of course, the fake dick-shaped 'urinating device' that comes in various different skin colours.

The kits are strictly to "protect your privacy", of course. The website makes it quite clear that their products should not be used to mask the use of banned substances, and police have found it incredibly difficult to crack down on the sale of these products. Senior Gold Coast police officer Superintendent Jim Keogh has told the ABC, "In reality, all they’re doing is making a chemical compound in liquid form and selling it. They’re not indicating what the purpose of the purchase is, at the time of selling it, it’s certainly not a dangerous drug. So we’re quite restricted in that area, albeit sitting behind the scenes here is sinister unlawful intent to test clean going onto a work site where you could compromise the safety of your fellow workmates."

Workplaces may be able to crack down on drug tests on site, of course, with Keogh saying that this could be the way forward for stopping this kind of behaviour. "They could get a medical practitioner to supervise the person who is producing the sample, and that would certainly alleviate the possibility of using a false sample." This is despite a number of testimonials on PassMyDrugTest.com.au claiming that the fake penis kits even helped them to fool medically supervised tests. Given that the people who are required to take these tests are constantly coming up with new ways to get around them, Tony Graham from Australian Workplace Drug Testing Services says that education, not testing, should be the main focus.

"Spend less on the actual testing, spend more on educating the people this is not a good way to go, this is the sort of testing we can do that will pick it up, if you get picked up cheating you will almost certainly lose your $150,000 a year job."

[Vice via Techly]


Comments

    Reminds me of the drug test episode of Blue Mountain State. Next up, oil changes.

      Hahaha, nah, it's well established that Tartare sauce will cover it up!

        Nah man, tartar sauce is for coke. Orange juice and cat shit, that's for weed.

    It would be funny if a pastey white guy whips out a 12" black dick during a drug test.

    Some drug test organisations make you pee in front of the tester so shit like this can't happen.

      Would never happen on the job. Unions would chuck a hissy fit over that sort of idea.

        This is exactly what these are for. A shit load of mine sites will watch you pee. I'm lucky mine doesn't so all I need is the synthetic urine with heat blanket and pour straight from the bottle. The penis's are mainly to make it look real from a distance and also to get it up to temperature using your own body heat rather than chemical blankets.

          As an employer i hope you lose your job, going out of your way to break your companies safety policies like that and (assuming since you're going through so much effort) working while impaired.

            If they are using on the job they deserve the can. If they are trying to hide the weekends fun then good on them.

            Employers are such arseholes.

              What's to say is not still imparing him on Monday morning.
              Company policy for most miners is to be clean and for very good reason. Don't like that? Get another job.

              Last edited 05/01/16 5:08 pm

        We have to pee in the same room as the tester. There's a standard toilet cubicle (with a sealed cistern) and we're allowed to close the cubicle door if we wish, but it's still pretty much peeing in front of them - there's not a huge amount of privacy.
        We're meant to be moving to saliva tests pretty soon though. And I reckon I'd look pretty foolish trying to provide a saliva sample with one of these dongs hanging out my gob!

    Ah miners... finding easier and easier ways to have industrial accidents. being around heavy machinery and explosives while high, BEST IDEA EVER!

    Still unable to upvote/downvote comments.

    The Gizmodo website is becoming a joke!

      #458italia You need to be an active commenter to be able to up or down vote comments. Slightly more than twice a month, for instance. Cheers.

    Urine testing can detect THC in your system for up to 12 weeks if you're a heavy smoker.

    Seems like a lot of effort to go to, just to put yourself and your workmates in mortal danger by working in a dangerous environment while under the influence... Not to mention the sudden drop in income as you become unemployable in any similar work when you get caught!

      The same drug testing requirements apply to people working in offices for mining companies who never go near any heavy machinery - so in some cases it may be these people trying to pass the tests because seriously - its really hard to hurt yourself or someone else if you are operating a computer while slightly off your nut. Unless that computer happens to control machinery.

    To be fair... it's not like there's anything else to do in mining towns.

    Not a single reference to Gattaca? What kind of writer are you?!?

    This is a really old story one I am sure that gizmodo "reported" on months ago.

    These people talking about people being "intoxicated" while on the job - urine tests do not test for intoxication anymore than breath tests account for being hung over.

    If you're using these to avoid being pinged for out of hours use, good on you.
    If you're rocking up to work intoxicated, you are a dick.

    But those two things are not to be conflated.

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