Neil deGrasse Tyson is a brilliant, modern-day Carl Sagan. He is also, if we are to judge solely by his Twitter account, a freshman philosophy major, tweeting from his dorm room and rolling blunts on top of his used copy of Plato’s Republic.
Imagine, if you will, Neil deGrasse Tyson — celestial tie and all — sprawled across empty pizza boxes atop a twin bed, eyes glazed over as visions of Plato’s cave and words like “dialectical” dance in his head. Suddenly, he realises — he’s done it. He’s figured it out. Neil pulls out his phone, and starts to tweet.
Wouldn’t it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) March 25, 2012
If we had 12 fingers, I wonder whether the Bill of Rights to the American Consitiution would have been 12 amendments long.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 22, 2014
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) March 26, 2014
When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 21, 2014
Occasionally I wonder what a football game would be like if played by Zombies. Would be slower, but oh so much more violent.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 4, 2013
If house cats were in charge, I wonder if they would post videos of cute humans doing stupid things.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) November 25, 2013
If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) June 27, 2013
I wonder if social media atheists ever use “OMG”. If so, they probably intended to type “OYG”.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) October 24, 2014
Never figured why the Foul Pole is called the Foul Pole when it’s entirely in fair territory. Should be called the Fair Pole.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 11, 2012
Just wait until his Intro class hears about this.