North Korea Doing Terrifying Things: A Brief Timeline

Last night, North Korea unexpectedly decided to test a nuclear bomb without the common courtesy of telling anybody first. But it's just the latest in a long line of terrifying things the country has done.

Led by a single family since 1948 — first Kim Il-sung, then later Jong-il and now Jong-un — North Korea has a rich history chequered with both comical and tragic stories. Here's a potted timeline of everything weird and frightful that has come out of the DPRK since its founding.

  • 1950: After just two years of being a country, North Korea invades South Korea because why not? This, as you might have guessed, kicks off the Korean War.
  • 1950s: Soviet Union decides to be helpful, giving North Korea the means to start its nuclear program.
  • 1950s: North Korea constructs Kijong-dong, a fake city situated in the DMZ meant to lure South Korean defectors. It's still there — and uninhabited — today.
  • 1965(ish) Jong-il claims in his biography to have written no fewer than 1500 books in his three years at university.
  • 1976: Two US Army officers killed by North Korean soldiers in what is known as the Axe Murder Incident. The pair were brutally murdered for pruning a poplar tree.
  • 1978: Kim Jong-Il, not yet ascended to leadership, kidnaps famed South Korean director Shin Sang-ok to help jumpstart North Korea's burgeoning propaganda film industry. He makes seven films before finally escaping in 1986.
  • 1985: North Korea signs up to the nuclear non-proliferation treaty. Totally normal at the time, a little insane in retrospect given...
  • 1986: Yongbyon nuclear reactor put into operation. Powered by uranium, it was capable of producing weapons-grade plutonium.
  • 1991: North Korea somehow joins the UN.
  • 1994: Kim Jong-il purportedly tries his hand at golf for the first time, managing a 38-under par round that included no fewer than 11 holes in one. Satisfied, he immediately declared his retirement from the sport.
  • 1998: Taepodong-1, a two-stage intermediate-range ballistic missile, developed and tested. US claims North Korea is developing nuclear weapons at secret sites.
  • 2003: North Korea withdraws from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (naturally).
  • 2004: Jong-il claims the invention of the hamburger as his own.
  • 2005: North Korea publicly declares its has nuclear weapons.
  • 2006: First(?) nuclear test in the North Korea. US officials suggest that it was probably a misfire. Whoops!
  • 2007: A smoking ban is imposed on the entire city of Pyongyang, to prevent Kim Jong-il from being exposed to secondhand smoke during his recovery from surgery.
  • 2008: Kim Jong-il reportedly schemes to remove all short people from Pyongyang by promising them access to a miraculous heightening drug, then kidnapping them.
  • 2008: A 50-year-old female South Korean tourist is shot down by a North Korean soldier for stumbling into 'military territory' in... the Keumgang Mountain Tourist Region.
  • 2009: North Korea launches a rocket called Unha in the general direction of Japan, in what appears to be an advanced preview of WWIII. Second nuclear test.
  • 2010: North Korea is blamed for the sinking of the South Korean warship Cheonan and the deaths of 46 of her crew. The country's artillery also bombards the South Korean island of Yeongpyeong, killing four people.
  • September 2011: Horrific North Korean death camps show up on Google Maps.
  • April 2012: North Korea spends $15 on its new website. Officials proudly parade a series of fake missiles.
  • November 2012: Kim Jong-Un named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive 2012. Archeologists of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences in North Korea discover a Unicorn lair. Obviously.
  • December 2012: The country casually puts a rocket into space without warning anybody. It turns out to be a satellite.
  • February 2013: North Korea conducts underground nuclear test without warning, using a "miniaturised nuclear device with greater explosive force."

Picture: Wiki Commons


Comments

    63 years of threats and stupidity.... Isn't it time to step in and shut the place down?

    All overshadowed by the fact that American is still around, deciding who is good and bad, who to kill, what lands to invade, and always portraying themselves as 'the good guy'.

    Why is America allowed to have nuclear capability but not North Korea?

    Fact is, American forces have killed many, many more people then North Korea ever has.

      north korea is crazy

        Are you going to ask them politely to give them up..? Cos I aint..! :)

        Ahhh...!! meant for wsdk_ii

        Last edited 13/02/13 9:22 am

      Number of concentration camps in North Korea: 6
      Number of concentration camps in the US: 0

      That's why.

        Guantanamo bay, for one, that everyone knows about.

        Also these are some of the current concentration camps inside America, which are holding or can hold without trial, ANYONE. Note that some of these seem abandoned, but are actually not. Educate yourself.

        ALABAMA - Opelika, Ft. McClellan (Anniston)
        ARIZONA - Ft. Huachuca
        ARKANSAS - Ft. Chaffee
        CALIFORNIA - Vandenburg AFB, Rex 84 facility, located near Lompoc & Santa Maria
        COLORADO - Trinidad, Ft. Carson - Along route 115 near Canon City
        FLORIDA - Avon Park - Air Force gunnery range
        GEORGIA - Ft. Benning
        ILLINOIS - Marseilles - Located on the Illinois River off Interstate 80 on Hwy 6
        KANSAS - Leavenworth - US Marshal's Fed Holding Facility
        KENTUCKY - Ashland - Federal prison camp in Eastern Kentucky near the Ohio River
        LOUISIANA - Ft. Polk
        MASSACHUSETTS - Camp Edwards
        MICHIGAN - Camp Grayling
        MINNESOTA - Duluth - Federal prison camp facility.
        MISSOURI - Richards-Gebaur AFB - located in Grandview, near K.C.MO
        NEVADA - Elko - Ten miles south of town. Wells - Camp is located in the O'Niel basin area, 40 miles north of Wells, past Thousand Springs, west off Hwy 93 for 25 miles

        in could go on, but i need to get back to work. there are at least another 50 or so.

          mate i found a website that put the number somewhere around 600!
          and another that said 800+
          and there was a quote about Jesus 'saving us' at the bottom of the page...

            So are you trying to discredit the websites, the numbers, the fact that they exist or Christianity?

            All you have done is shown your personal opinion (dislike of Christianity as well), not added any factual evidence.

              sorry mate i was being a little bit silly with the Jesus comment but the numbers i provided were real, i simply googled "current concentration camps in the us" ... the top result says 600+, the third one says 800+, you dont even need to leave google for that... i could have gone on, but i also had work to do...
              I was implying, perhaps too subtly, that you cannot believe everything you read on the internet.
              as for debunking your claim, ie providing factual evidence...
              well I didnt need to do anything, it's already been done.
              http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4145

                I knew what you were implying, however did you see the irony in your implication?

                At the end of the day, the American government is just as bad as North Korea / China. In fact, because they are so righteous about it, they may infact be worse!

        The USA has been reponsible for more deaths than any other country in history. But hey, that is okay because USA can do what ever it wants . USA has been the only country to use Nuclear Bombs on civilians. Lets do a timeline of USA doing terrible things. Oh, the timeline will be too long to fit in just one article.

          Not that I'm actually defending the USA, but they really are really only a handful of countries that have would have a timeline of terrible things that would fit in just one article...

          And I don't see how USA being a bully = North Korea is not a crazy-as-snakes-bully.

            Like flying your own planes into the twin towers so that you can invade a country is not crazy as snake. Too bad bush didn't have any brains to realise every, tom, dick and harry had a camera with them.

              Can't tell if trolling or tinfoil hat wearing nut-job.

                My cousin just came out the subway when the first plane hit the building and had a direct view of the second plan and watched it approach the second building. It was not a normal airline. My cousin lost friends in the twin towers. Do you want to call her a liar to her face.

                  Peter Andre.....Peter Andre....you picked your name to be of all people Peter Andre.
                  now you sound loopy enough to be one of Kims advisers but naming yourself after a terrible pop singer just tops it

                Cant tell if stupid, or naive, or American.

    north korea is best korea!

    Didn't I see a doco about Nostradamus where he predicts that a "Prince of Asia" or "Prince of the East" or something similar being the harbinger of the last great war to end all wars..?
    Probably a complete misquote but Li'll Kim seems to fit the bill..!

      now go read the Nostradamus predictions without interpretation. they are a complete jumbled up mess that you could interpret anything from.
      source: i have the complete prophecies of Nostradamus [translated and without interpretation]

        No need to get bent out of shape eh, clearly it interested you at some point, I was just making a reference to the possible connection. If I actually believed that stuff, I'd be under the bed with a tinfoil hat.!

    I know I say this every time, but that is still the best GIF I've ever seen. Haha.

    A nuclear test a day keeps the Americans away. If it wasn't for their nukes, North Korea would've been invaded and wiped out like Iraq was.

    Iraq, coming to a town near you if you step out of line.

    GO TEAM NORTH KOREA !

    Last edited 13/02/13 4:41 pm

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