The Only Place On Earth Where You Will Be Safe From The Apocalypse

The Mayan apocalypse is real and everyone is going to die this Friday — everyone except the people staying in any of the hotels around this mountain. It's name is Mount Rtanj and, magically, anyone on this 1500m high mountain in Serbia will be spared from certain doom.

Doom that will come on December 21 in the form of Nibiru, the planet that is going to collide with Earth on Friday. You know, that planet that is completely undetectable using any telescope or radiotelescope in the world because it is invisible.

But anyway. This is the mountain that science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke called "THE NAVEL OF THE WORLD", which was spirited with some kind of special energy. Some people agree with Clarke a lot. They believe that, inside the guts of this mountain, deep in that natural three-sided pyramid top, there's some kind of alien spaceship that will take them away when Nibiru hits or when the supernova supernovas or when Quetzalcoatl jumps through an interdimensional portal to swallow the Earth. All of them are plausible scenarios.

Believers believe in this so hard that they are flocking to Mount Rtanj — to the hotels around the mountain or just camping wherever they can. And it's not just a few people either. According to one of the hotel managers who spoke with the Daily Telegraph in the UK, "in one day [they] had 500 people trying to book rooms. People want to bring their whole families."

Magic Mountain

The locals don't give a damn about the end of the world. They are probably just happy to take the money from Humanity's Survivors and laugh, thinking about their faces on December 22. They do have their own stories about Rtanj, however, a mountain located 320km to the East of Belgrade, in the Carpathian range.

According to them, there is no alien ship. These locals are reasonable people who simply believe that there are hidden chambers full of gold and jewels stockpiled by the wizard — WIZARD! — who had a castle on top of Rtanj back in the day. The legend is so strong that some treasure hunters blew up a building at the summit, thinking that it reveal an opening to a labyrinth of catacombs leading to the wizard's chamber. Now that's reasonable.

The Rtajn chapel, blown up by treasure hunters.

Never mind that there's a perfectly reasonable story explaining the building-it was probably a ruse to help conceal the massive fortune underneath. The story goes that this chapel, built by 1000 workers where the castle was supposed to be in 1936, was dedicated to the memory of Julius Minh, a Jewish industrialist who committed suicide "under mysterious circumstances". Minh was the owner of the mountain's coal mine and Greta, his wife, built it to honour him. Hah, likely story. The treasure hunters clearly had intelligence that Julius and Greta's men found something else in the coal mine and the chapel was just ruse to conceal it.

Whatever it is, the only treasure now in those parts are the brains of the brilliant individuals who are going to survive us all.


Comments

    I love the opening sentence of this article.

    Ha love it! Can taste the scorn...

    Didn't Nibiru already happen? I seem to vaguely recall a cult waiting to before for Nibiru to hit earth...

    Great way to sell hotel bookings. Fresh towels, Queen size bed, only place safe from the apocalypse. 3 stars.

    They are probably just happy to take the money from Humanity’s Survivors and laugh, thinking about their faces on December 22
    But for the fairly likely possibility that they, like other believers of apocalyptic prophecies before them, will off themselves by the dozen. Kind of puts a damper on your home town if it becomes known as the site of a mass suicide.

      Yeah, but these people are going there to *survive* - not die.

      I think most of these folk will be relieved (and hopefully deeply embarrassed for being so gullible), unless they happened to sell everything and max out the VISA to get there.

    ..and I feel fineee!

    I won't panic on the 21st of December in Australia. Since the Mayans lived in South America, by the time the apocalypse occurs, it'll be the 22nd here.

    Then I'll panic.

    Back in the 1950's my grandfather bought a large dairy farm very cheaply from people heading to Africa for the end of the world. You may have noticed that the world didn't end during the 50's.

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