It’s bad enough that you have to deal with the mouth-breathers at your office five days a week. Now you’ve got to spend your hard-earned money on a Secret Santa present for them as well? Thank you, no. Express your displeasure with these fantastically snarky gift ideas. Let this serve as the anti-gift guide to our positive one from last week.
CDs
Bonus points if they’re Ozemail installation CDs. [Image: Shutterstock]
A Journal
For when you want to tell your co-worker, “I give precisely zero shits about your opinion so here, write your feelings down in this book. Then burn it.” [Image: shutterstock]
VHS Boxsets
Because everybody loves legacy technology, right?
AAAA Batteries
Are these even a thing?
Smoking Cessation Aids
Hint, Hint. [Image: shutterstock]
Dating Site Subscription
It’s either this or rent you a hooker.
Trackpants
These rank just below socks and neck ties on the scale of shitty clothing to receive. [Image: shutterstock]
A Weight Watchers Book
You’ll need it after all that Christmas food.
Breathe Right Anti-Snore Strips
A gentle reminder that maybe you shouldn’t sleep while at work.
As an ex-OzEmailer - thank you for making my day :)
I asked for a pair of trackies last chrissy. You obviously don't live near the beach. Unoffical winter uniform
Winter uniform? - in Brissy yesterday in the 30+++ degree in the city some *spoon* was walking about in a full Tracksuit!
Trackies are absolutely awesome to wear, after a long day working in heavy work pants, there is nothing like coming home and putting a pair of trackies on and lazing around the house in.
They might be a part of the official aussie bogan uniform but sometimes they are on to something here.
They're only part of a bogan uniform when worn outside the house. Inside the house, they're fair game!
This! I love my trackies and could have shipped my girlfriend off to China when she threw an old pair of mine out.
With the massive gaping hole in the knee. They were one legged shorts!
You forgot Windows 8, as a kind of "This is for getting me that horrid shirt that i had to wear".
I'm only counting 9? Are the last three nothing?
Posted at 5pm. Nuff said.
AAAA batteries are in the 9V batteries. There's six AAAA inside the case.
No they're not, there is a stack of flat 1.5v cells about the size of a SD card (but thicker of course). Have you actually ever dissasembled a 9V battery?
Why do you both assume all 9v batteries are created the same? I assure you they are not
I would love the shit out of anyone who gave me a VHS box set, providing it was something I like.
Why doesn't this list include Crocs?
And 'Gators, they are just as dangerous and unpleasant as Crocs......................
Add pet birds or mice to the list.
Impregnate them.
I dunno if that's a gift you can *buy* kendal, I think it's just a gift you can *give*. It's not exactly passive-aggressive either. Although depending on your workplace, might be kinda FUN to give ...
'tis better to give...
Not really passive aggressive but, I bought a goat for an African family on behalf of our company racist.
haha the anti-snore strips made me giggle. That and the trackie pants - can just imagine the expression on my irritating co-workers face