Buying presents for women isn’t easy. Women aren’t easy, period. You just want to make her happy, but she has to complicate things and be all dramatic and make a fuss. What you choose to give someone as a gift says more about you than you might think. Get it right and you could be having yourself a really merry Christmas.
Let’s start with a rough guide on what not to do: Don’t get her anything that belongs in a kitchen. Absolutely no IKEA. Don’t get her a gift card or voucher. Don’t get her “special” underwear. Don’t make a donation to a charity on her behalf. No scales, regardless of how cool they are. Unless you know her well, avoid software, subscriptions and other non-tangible items. Be cautious with clothing — too small will make her feel fat and depressed, and too big will make her think you think she’s fat. No prank toys.
iPod Touch
I know you thought of this one already, but let me tell you why this is a good option for some and not a good option for others. I recently bought one of these for myself and they are every bit as amazing as everyone says. They come in the cutest candy colours and will cost you between $329 and $439 depending on storage capacity, which makes it ideal for the wife who needs a new MP3 player, or the steady girlfriend who won’t let go of her dumbphone. If you get it online, go for the free engraving option. Just don’t get one if she already has an iPhone. [Apple] [clear]
Name Necklace
There’s a fine line between classy and cheesy when it comes to personalised gifts. Stay on the right side of that line with this sterling silver necklace personalised with your lady friend’s name. It’s currently 50 per cent off at $49.99, so it’s ideal not-too-expensive option if your girl is constantly losing things (ahem). Consider the gold necklaces if you want to get something for your mum. [Name Necklace] [clear]
Orgasmatron Head Massager
Does your girl like head massages? Do you hate how your fingers feel greasy afterwards? Enter the one and only Orgasmatron! (No, not that one.)This Aussie invention will make her shiver with delight while de-stressing her at the same time. It doesn’t require a battery, requires no skill to operate and costs just $20. Will it give her an orgasm? “We cannot guarantee orgasm but it is definitely fun trying.” There’s also a vibrating version! [Orgasmatron]
Picture: coolthings.com.au [clear]
World Scratch Map
World maps make beautiful posters and great conversation starters. This $28 scratch map features a top gold foil layer that she can scratch off to reveal a colourful second layer that marks everywhere she has been around the world. It measures 92cm x 52cm and comes in a slick tube packaging. Ideal for impressing sexy backpackers. [The Chart and Map Shop] [clear]
Sony NEX-F3 Camera
Trying to find the right camera is a daunting process. Don’t worry — I’ve found just the one for the woman in your life: the $599 Sony NEX-F3 interchangeable lens camera is a specialist in self portraits, thanks to its 180-degree flip-up screen LCD screen. It also has an APS-C sensor, takes 16MP shots and shoots 1080p video, making it a great all-rounder that easily fits into a handbag. It also comes in a stunning pink or white, if black isn’t her thing. [Sony] [clear]
Kia Rio
Why not get your wife a present that will also benefit you? Kia has overcome an unfavourable reputation to snatch the award for Australia’s Best Light Car Under $20,000 two years in a row with its Rio Si hatchback. It has a five-star ANCAP safety rating, best-in-class performance and looks sexy to boot. Consider the monthly repayments a long-term investment in your time and your relationship. [Kia] [clear]
Black Milk Game Boy Swimsuit
Here’s another gift idea that will also make your dreams come true. Warning: This will only fly if your girlfriend is a gaming nerd who doesn’t mind showing a little bit of skin. These cute one-piece GameBoy-style swimsuits come in a range of colours for $90 each. The product description says it all: “Got game? Here, have some more.” Perfect for summer — just make sure she’ll see the humour in it as well. [Black Milk Clothing] [clear]
Spotify Premium Subscription
I know I said above to avoid subscriptions, but there are always exceptions. If she’s really into music, you can get her the gift that keeps on giving with a premium membership to Spotify that removes ads and lets you listen on any device. This could be ideal for someone you’re not too intimate with (yet) — it tells her that you know what her interests are, it won’t scare her away like other gifts can, and she’ll think of you every time she fires up Spotify (if that’s what you want). The only requirement is that you have to be an existing member of Spotify (premium or not) and have $12 per month to pay for the subscription. [Spotify] [clear]
Pantone iPad Book Case
Pantone are the modern gods of colour, but your iPad-toting sister who designs for a living (or wants to be) already knows that. This iPad case is compatible with the iPad 2 and the new iPad, comes in a range of colours straight out of Pantone’s numbered library, and totally screams “I’M A REAL DESIGNER!” [Flight 001]
Picture: Man of the Cloth [clear]
Logitech Notebook Kit
This is one those gadgets you would never think to buy, but you find you can’t live without it once you start using it. This is ideal for people who work at a desk all day, but their main computer happens to be a laptop rather than a desktop. The kit comes with a wireless mouse, a wireless keyboard and a tray that raises the laptop. Depending on what you’re doing and where you are, you can use all of items or just one or two of them. Clever, useful and reasonably priced at $129.95. [Logitech]
Bedroom Kandi Happiness & Joy Vibrator
Admittedly, you have to know your partner very well in order to pull off this one. This isn’t just any old vibrator. This is the Happiness & Joy vibrator: dual stimulation, rechargeable and wireless to a range of 7.5 metres for remote control, if you know what I’m saying. You can choose from seven pre-set vibrating patterns or you can get it to shake to the beat and rhythm of her favourite sexy time songs. [Bedroom Kandi]