For some people decorating their home for the Christmas holidays is a fantastic way to celebrate the season and add festive cheer to their neighbourhood. But for other people decorating is all about vengeance. They might not have been able to stop their neighbour’s leaves from falling into their pool, but they’ll be damned if they will let them forget about it come December.
So if you’ve somehow been wronged by your neighbours, or anyone within a 10-house radius, here are eight over-the-top decorating suggestions that will let you passive-aggressively get back at everyone who’s wronged you.
1.2m Countdown To Christmas Santa
It’s not some giant monstrosity sitting on your lawn, but this four-foot Santa serves as an effective harbinger of the festive nightmare that’s coming.
Stick it on your porch a couple of months before December and its 99-day LED countdown clock will remind your neighbours that you haven’t forgotten they stole your newspaper that one time. ~$300. [clear]
5m Waving Light-Up Santa
This Santa, on the other hand, is a giant monstrosity. Standing 5m tall, it’s illuminated with hundreds of bulbs and stands like a giant lighthouse on your property.
It’s probably actually bright enough to be seen a few streets over, but what’s important is that it ensures the darkness of night never falls on your, or your neighbour’s, property. ~$5700.[clear]
6m Suggestive Inflatable Snowman
Sure, inflatable decorations are the lazy person’s way to decorate. But who cares? When you’re trying to cover every inch of your home with Christmas cheer these go a long way.
Particularly this suggestively seductive 6m long snowman who can be inflated in just 10 minutes with included hardware. His smug face and body is also illuminated from within so he casts a glowing smirking glare to all who pass bye. ~$300. [clear]
Creepy Animatronic Santa, Mrs Claus and Elves
There’s nothing creepier than discount animatronics. And while this Claus family set that comes complete with elves will still set you back thousands of dollars, it’s lacking the cartoon cuteness that Disney’s animatronics always seem to have.
It probably also doesn’t help that they’re all designed and sold by a company that specialises in animated Halloween decorations. With these on your front porch, you’ll never have to worry about annoying carolers stopping by. ~$3500.[clear]
Colour-Changing LED Outdoor Spotlights
You can saturate your home in tiny Christmas lights, but nothing makes your house glow like a beacon in the night better than spotlights.
Using a set of coloured LEDs this unit can switch between 16 different shades with an included wireless remote — which also means you can leave them out all year wrong simply tweaking the colours for Valentine’s Day, St Patrick’s Day and Halloween. ~$20. [clear]
ShowTime MP3 Director
Holiday light shows synced to music are all the rage right now, but have you ever wondered how they’re created? A few years ago it was talented hobbyists designing their own hardware, but now there are kits letting any homeowner turn their property into a future YouTube hit.
This controller is part of a larger hardware system, but takes the need for a computer out of the equation. It can be safely stored outside and features an SD card slot so you can feed it a playlist of Christmas tunes. There’s still some programming required, but there are 11 other months in the year for you to figure that part out. ~$250. [clear]
Santa’s Flight School Self-Standing Light Show
But save yourself the hassle and trouble of having to hang lights all over your home, risking life and limb perched on a ladder, with this elaborate pre-lit animated display.
Santa’s Flight School humorously shows a series of reindeer attempting to learn to fly (and then almost leaping to their deaths) using over 5600 bulbs all synced with a central controller. At 38m wide and 11m high it might actually violate your local zoning laws, so you’ll want to check with the council first before you blow your whole decorating budget on this monstrosity. ~$85,800. [clear]
SNOPRO Snowmaking Machine
For a lot of people Christmas just isn’t Christmas without a little snow on the ground. You can guarantee your property will be blanketed in the white stuff with this small-scale snow machine.
The included pressure washer and other hardware can cover your average lawn with up to six inches of snow in just eight hours. And since you point the wand wherever you want, you can guarantee you don’t have to dig your car out in the morning. But if a flake or two (or a few hundred thousand) happen to drift onto your neighbour’s driveway, well, you can just chock that up to a genuine Christmas miracle. ~$800. [clear]
Image: Gail Burton/Associated Press