Too Bad This Apple-Samsung Fanboy Peace Treaty Isn't Real

The smartphone fanboy wars seem both ridiculous and eternal. It's like everywhere you go on the internet, a simple statement of preference — even one that isn't pig-head and disparaging — can serve as the flash point for a fanboy skirmish. Isn't it about time we signed a peace treat?

This agreement was written up for CNN by Omar L Gallaga and only deals with one subset of the larger iOS vs. Android combat, but a subset that's been in particularly heated combat lately. Sure, the whole agreement basically amounts to "just shut up" but it's amusing. Here's a taste:

NOW, THEREFORE, the Parties agree to abide by the agreements herein, enumerated in the terms of the articles set forth below:

ARTICLE 1

Apple Fanboys agree not to keep bringing up the August 2012 $US1 billion patent verdict against Samsung as a way of trying to squelch any disagreement over who may have copied what, recognising that the case covered a limited scope of features. Samsung Fanboys will similarly cease efforts to end all arguments by discussing "Open" versus "Closed" platforms, accepting that there are numerous advantages and disadvantages to each.

ARTICLE 2

Apple Fanboys won't list how many apps are available for iOS (more than 700,000, since the treaty brought it up) on every message board about app development while Samsung Fanboys will minimize cross-Party discussion of expandable SD-card memory, replaceable batteries, screen size, NFC technology or how Android's notifications are still way better than Apple's, even after Notification centre was added to iOS and Mac OS X.

You can read the whole seven article treaty over at CNN. In the meantime, you can state your smartphone preference and prepare for war in the comments over whether or not this humorous fake treaty is biased towards one party or another. Or you can turn over a new leaf and maybe just talk about puppies or something instead. Your call. Choose wisely. [CNN]


Comments

    The whole thing is so juvenile I'm not even going to dignify the argumant by comme.... ohh wait.. :-\

    I hope Apple keeps going after Samsung. Samsung has it coming.

    If only... :(

    The whole thing is brilliant marketing. Not only have Samsung won all their cases bar one which maybe over turned. Samsung have now positioned themselves as equal to Apple because when ever they make the news it's just Samsung and Apple and no one else.

    Before the court case it was apple or every other android phone. Now it's apple or Samsung.

    Both OSs have the same amount of apps. -Over 675k in the Google Play store thingy and numerous others in the other Google app markets.
    And I'm sure both OSs have more than their fair share of crappy non-aps.

    I find the miss-information spread by either side of the argument to be quite irritating. In the end they're both much loved, well used platforms and devices. They both have bad sides:
    The Apple iphone has obvious limitations, which are of the brand's own devising. Samsung have copied superficial aspects from iphone models in a bid to win over iphone users... generally to their detriment since the copied bits uglify their designs.

    Kittens!

    I use both OSs, each have their own advantages and disadvantages. If you like one or the other, that's fine. Stop being a fanboy or hater. I switched to an S3 because I saw more potential in what I could do with my device, I'm happy for my choice. At the same time, I keep my iOS handy for App Development and I use my iPad a lot.

    I agree. But how are the Apple users going to find the location with Apple maps? :P

    Man, you guys, you have no idea what the great seventh-generation console wars were like. The smartphone wars are rational, pleasant debates by comparison.

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