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The First Shot Of World War III Will Be Fired By Russia's Mighty Poop Tank

War is a messy business, and if a Russian inventor has his way, it could be downright disgusting. Taking a ‘kill two birds with one stone’ approach, Aleksandr Georgievich Semenov proposes that tank personnel turn their waste into projectiles, resulting in both physical and psychological damage to their enemies.

Soldiers can be trapped inside their armoured vehicles for prolonged periods during heated battles, and dealing with the unpleasant human waste that inevitably builds up is definitely an issue. So as the graphic patent illustration details — complete with a Russian soldier dropping his drawers — the waste is simply deposited into a shell and blasted out of the vehicle using its primary weapon. If said waste happens to hit the opposing forces, all the better.

It might seem ridiculous, but if you know what it feels like to have been bombed by a pigeon, you can imagine how demoralising it would feel to be hit by your enemy’s crap. [FIPS via Neatorama via The Guardian]