Total cost of the art: $US992.2 million
Your price: $US186
If you can’t play with the big boys at auction, you might as well play solitaire at your computer.
Masterwork: The Card Players by Paul Cézanne
Masterwork price: $US250 million
Your price: $US11
“My kid could paint that” is the old cliche applied to Jackson Pollock’s abstract paintings. The splatter on this speaker is not in fact a Pollock design. It’s also a reminder that, no, you cannot just get a hack to come paint you a fake Pollock.
Masterwork: No. 5, 1948 by Jackson Pollock
Masterwork price: $US140 million
Your price: $US47
Abstract expressionism and coffee. Two things that make you smile in one.
Masterwork: Woman III by Willem de Kooning
Masterwork price: $US137.5 million
Your price: $US16
Before you get all judgmental of people who collect barbie dolls styled like the women in fine works of art, please make fun of the people who collect the actual original pieces of art. Here’s Barbie styled like Adele Bloch-Bauer.
Masterwork: Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I by Gustav Klimt
Masterwork price: $US135 million
Your price: $US35
You can’t scream at a monumentally expensive painting. You can scream at your phone.
Masterwork: The Scream by Edvard Munch
Masterwork price: $US119 million
Your price: $US40
As Picasso attained colossal notoriety during his own lifetime, and at least two huge museums are dedicated entirely to his work, his most famous pieces have never sold to private parties. I mean, who’s heard of Nude, Green, Leaves and Bust? This wall-socket night light covered in (cubist) naked ladies will console you while you ponder that question.
Masterwork: Nude, Green Leaves and Bust by Pablo Picasso
Masterwork price: $US106.5 million
Your price: $US12
Garçon à la pipe also hasn’t been made into any gear — our best guess is because nobody smokes pipes anymore. Smoke cigarettes with the cool kids and light them with this Zippo-style firestarter.
Masterwork: Garçon à la pipe by Pablo Picasso
Masterwork price: 104.2 million
Your price: $US25