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Why The 4.6-Inch iPhone Won't Happen

No — stop it. Close that tab. Stop reading that. The Apple rumour de jour — a 4.6-inch iPhone 5 — is the same reheated broth some filthy cook serves yearly. It wasn’t true last year, or the year before. Here’s why it’s still BS.

Reuters, usually a staid, reliable entity when it comes to not spreading gleeful crap rumours, dove headfirst into this one:

Apple has decided on the bigger 4.6-inch display for its next iPhone and started placing orders to its suppliers, the Maeil Business Newspaper said, quoting an unnamed industry source.

Oh, well, in that case! But beyond the complete baselessness of the report, there are good reasons why this thing rumour is hot, sweaty air, regardless of source.

The Terrifying Ghost of Steve Jobs

Jobs decided the iPhone would be 3.5 inches six years ago. Every single iPhone has been 3.5 inches. Every single iPod Touch has been 3.5 inches. Apple, even under the competent Captain Cook, would make customers and investors alike nervous once they started to stray from the Jobsian Plan for The Universe.

3.5 Ain’t Broke

As it exists now, the iPhone (2G, 3G, 3GS, 4, 4S) fits perfectly in your hand, whether you’ve got bigger than usual mitts or baby hands. The entire screen and home button can be struck by your thumb alone. It’s just big enough for movies, perfect as a camera rangefinder and perfectly comfortable for casual reading. It’ll also fit just fine in your pants, no matter how skinny. There’s just something optimal about 3.5 inches. We know it, and Apple knows it. For a company with such monastic dedication to consistency, this isn’t a factor the company is likely to start screwing with — especially with an inch-plus increase. So what’s Apple’s incentive? Why alter a form that sells millions upon millions every single year?

The Source and Timing Are Suspect

To say the least. Let’s reiterate: this rumour has come out of a Korean newspaper with no Apple track record to speak of, citing an “unnamed industry source” about a “second quarter” launch that makes no sense. Apple is going to release a new iPhone 7-9 months after the last one? Nuh uh.

Why Join the Size Race?

As our pals at FWD pointed out, as phone manufacturers come out with ever-expanding displays, we’re approaching a Phone/Penis Singularity. Just like computers used to slap each other back and forth over speed, phones now race to out-big each other, but bigger has by no means proven to always be better. Conceding anything close to this would put Apple in a pissing contest, rather a city on a hill.

Photo: Techblock