Teen Capable Only Of Texting To Be Euthanased, Reports The Onion

Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead and will be euthanased by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day.

And before anybody freaks out, no this isn't real. But it is hilarious, and it hits a little close to home. [The Onion]


Comments

    I hate my generation. obsessed with texting and facebook and all the bullshit we DO NOT NEED.

    Everyone's acting except the kid, youch.

    Can't wait to see this pop-up on http://literallyunbelievable.org/

    This is supposed to be 'hilarious' ...?

    I was thinking that she had waaay too much motor control... until I saw the last paragraph. Then I cried a little, because this is almost what some people are like on Facebook, etc. Then I laughed at the way it was done.

    Makes me feel sad that I'm a part of that generation.

      +1 oh well, hopefully it will just die out like myspace did not to sure about texting tho

    Being part of that generation, it makes me feel obligated to have some of my own friends euthanised.

    Take the phone off them and give a good slap across the face. That would snap me out of a texting trance.

    forest spirits troubled by increase of homeless sex haha

    Thank God I hate texting and social networking. Im one generation above y'all :-P

    i truely cannot believe that theyre letting them kill this girl considering she has the fundamental means to communicate absolutely shocked

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