Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead and will be euthanased by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day.
And before anybody freaks out, no this isn’t real. But it is hilarious, and it hits a little close to home. [The Onion]
Steve
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 7:37 PMI hate my generation. obsessed with texting and facebook and all the bullshit we DO NOT NEED.
Franz
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 7:50 PMEveryone’s acting except the kid, youch.
Mark Ampersand
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 7:52 PMCan’t wait to see this pop-up on http://literallyunbelievable.org/
JezzK
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 8:50 PMThis is supposed to be ‘hilarious’ …?
WhiteDaemon666
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 9:06 PMI was thinking that she had waaay too much motor control… until I saw the last paragraph. Then I cried a little, because this is almost what some people are like on Facebook, etc. Then I laughed at the way it was done.
Gordon
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 9:13 PMMakes me feel sad that I’m a part of that generation.
Jonny
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 1:34 AM+1 oh well, hopefully it will just die out like myspace did not to sure about texting tho
Jen
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 1:16 AMBeing part of that generation, it makes me feel obligated to have some of my own friends euthanised.
Lachlan Bromage
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 7:53 AMTake the phone off them and give a good slap across the face. That would snap me out of a texting trance.
crud
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 8:39 AMforest spirits troubled by increase of homeless sex haha
Ash
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 9:15 AMThank God I hate texting and social networking. Im one generation above y’all :-P
shocked
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 2:09 PMi truely cannot believe that theyre letting them kill this girl considering she has the fundamental means to communicate absolutely shocked