The Pope Has Chosen Android

This, my friends, may be the end of the smartphone fanboy wars. I can give my two cents. The rest of the tech community can give theirs. But God Almighty himself, through his appointed papal mouthpiece, has picked a winner.

For this year's celebration of Christ's birth, Pope Benedict will remotely light a giant Christmas tree display attached to the side of a mountain, from 200km away. So, yeah, screw your lawn display.

But! Scandal! He's doing it with the Lord's fave new gadget, MSNBC reports, straight from the Vatican newswire:

Benedict XVI will activate the illumination from his apartments in the Vatican Apostolic Palace. He will touch the screen of a Sony "Tablet" with an "Android" operating system which, via the Internet, will transmit the command to switch on the electric current to the tree.

Will this alleged "Android" "Tablet" be a Sony S? It doesn't matter. The heavens have parted, and the choice is clear: The Pope Chooses Android. If you are one of the world's billion-plus Catholics, take note!

Also, kind of sad how far we've fallen since the days of the burning bush. Moses needed no "tablet".

Original photo: Thomas Niedermueller/Getty


Comments

    Moses did get two tablets in the end, when he came down from Mount Sinai...

      My day, you have made it.

        I believe he got four, he broke the first two...

          Yeah the first two were android.

      At least you know those tablets have good security built in with the face melting features.

      Try jailbreaking this OS Geohot...

      Maybe Steve has filed a case against God for patent infringement on the original tablets given to Mosses. God has put the word out to buy the Samsung

    well region and intelligence have never been in harmony with each other!

      your right, religion requires a higher state of mind then most have - it is easy to believe in what you can see, but requires a far greater mind to believe in what you can not.

        It doesn't require a great mind, it requires a completely deluded mind. The very concept of faith - to beleive without reason - is by definition insane.

          Why? Creation implies a creator. Information needs a writer. Order needs an "orderer". The precision with which this world is made gives strong reason for the faith you hate so much. I'd say it's insane to believe that it all made and ordered itself.

            Really its insane to "not believe" in something that you cant see, smell, taste, touch or test its veracity in any way? Why do you think that because there is order out of chaos there needs to be a thing that creates that order? that is fairly arrogant of you to think that this entire universe was created for you....

        Religion requires a higher state of mind? LOL.

        You and your kind have taken a story way too seriously.

        "your" (sic) right. From someone trumpeting the superiority of religion. Fantastic.

    I DID MEAN RELIGION! DAMM AUTO CORRECT OF MY ANDROID !

    Pretty sure Steve Jobs sit above the Pope in the heirarchy...

      Considering I have no idea what the Pope actually does besides talk to God while Jobs at least helped create some industry changing technology, I'd back that.

        Note: I know the Pope doesn't actually talk to God..

          you KNOW this?

          well there we have it, god doesnt exist and atheism won in the end.

          hang on....what if i say "i KNOW god exists"?

          PARADOX!!!

            Wow, you're still trolling? I didn't say God doesn't exist, I said the Pope doesn't sit around talking to God, which he doesn't. You're a very damaged man aren't you?

              I dont know, i dont feel damaged. But then, would i even know if i was?

              no, not trolling, but i do have a soft spot for religion, and i dont like you.

                What if you say you KNOW god exists?

                I say prove it...oh wait, you can't. Funny that you can't prove your invisible friend is real, much like a child cannot do the same...at least children grow out of it.

                  I have a fun exercise for ya... keep in mind, it's for fun.

                  You, specifically you, prove that atoms exist.

                  Atoms are things you've been told exist, but you've never seen them. You may say that many people have seen them, but you haven't.

                  Many people say they have seen miracles, and you have to admit that there are a lot of things and events that science has not been able to explain (I know, you'll say "not yet"). We can't just say that at some distant future time science will explain everything and be content with that. Kinda silly.

                  So anyway, If many people claim to have seen both miracles and atoms but most of us just have to take their word for it... are we just as much sheep for believing that science is the "almighty reality?"

                  I look forward to this discussion.

                  P.S. Android rocks.

          This comment has been deemed inappropriate and has been deleted.

        Too true- to some idiots Jobs is actually a god.

          I hope people realise I was being sarcastic.

      Helped by purchasing existing tech would be a more accurate description of Apple and Steve

    So Steve Jobs hasn't taken over Heaven yet?

      Naww - He's keeping quiet until the patent goes through.

        Gold....

        So does that mean everyone will have to live up for 3 days before they will be let in the Pearly Gates?

    I imagine the old guy just uses whatever's handed to him. Android today, ipad tomorrow, Windows 8 next year. I doubt he really cares on e way or the other.

      Probably a good lesson in that for all of us.

        The only lesson worth learning from religion, is 'avoid it in future civilisations'

          \ I wasn't talking about his JOB, but how he relates to the tech. Grow up James.

          there is no such thing as civilization without religion. look at the modern west; all we're doing is aborting, contracepting, and gay-marrying ourselves out of existence while the guys with four wives and fifty kids take advantage of our insane immigration laws, all in the name of tolerance. the west has lost its Faith, morally decayed, and is thus doomed.

            Out of existance yet the population is growing...

            hhe nice trolling
            i hope :\

    Stands to reason the Catholic church would go with the juvenile boy option of mobile operating systems.

      Awww, someone a little sad their iPad didn't get chosen?

        Not particularly, troll, but I thought the analogy was too good to pass up. Carry on!

      Actually, seeing as Catholicism is a walled garden in itself, you'd think iOS would be the perfect match. Not to mention the religious fervour both seem to generate...

    On the subject, Pope is a catholic, why the Christianity tag?

      christianity is the top defining tag, everything sits below it.

      Catholics are Christian.

        Um.. he has a christmas tree so he is pagan. Look it up.

      Are you an idiot?

        No. Are you?

        This comment has been deemed inappropriate and has been deleted.

    It's certainly a big day for child safety if we can get all those "child-loving" priests on a platform that tracks their movements, keystrokes, and website preferences. Perhaps pervasive big brother platforms have a place in society after all.

      yea cause only priests are pedo's?

      how about we monitor your life for a while and see where you step out of line.

        Paedophiles are vastly over-represented within the clergy. After your comments on gay marriage in The Age the other day I'm no longer surprised by your ignorance.

          It's more that they are mostly protected despite being pedo's/

        Be my guest. I practice what religions claim to. I treat others as I would expect to be treated. I don't violate children, the most vulnerable of human beings. I don't take other people's children from their mothers, then indoctrinate them into a lifestyle of fear and guilt. I don't spend my days trying to tell others how to live their lives. But most of all, I don't try to convince children that there are fairies at the bottom of the garden. The fact that the church has lobbied our governments to include fairy tales as part of public school education curriculum is the height of evil. just because you were fooled as a child, why inflict that pain on stranger's children?

    Maybe if tablets start trickling down the hierarchy there'll be less need to touch other things...

    FFS people. The Apple, Inc. logo is an apple with a bite out of it. It would be a PR nightmare. Ultimate sin much? Apple = Evil, both in practice and iconographically speaking.

      LOL awesome.

    Crap. I just bought a Tablet S and wrote a glowing review on Engadget. Now I have to buy something else :( I dont want to own somthing pedos use.

    Maybe God made an android shaped golem out of clay and he'd streamline it a bit.

    This has been a pretty sad comment thread.

      An army of social misfits, who encourage discrimination and intolerance based on religion, gender, ethnicity and sexuality, discourage measures to halt the spread of disease and contain unsustainable population growth, protect and employ child sex predators, who incidentally occur more frequently within this organisation than anywhere else, and whose tireless work to alleviate poverty, misery and suffering has somehow resulted in unimaginable wealth and undue political influence, is being led by an ex-Nazi who is revered by 1.2 billion people, and you think this comments thread is sad?

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