Mark Zuckerberg's Amazing Race Luxury Vacation Revealed

What do you when you have more money than Christ and an appetite for fried foods? You head to Red Vietnam for a getaway replete with lavish meals, private yachts, helicopters, and goat-catching. We have Mark Zuckerberg's exclusive holiday itinerary.

After being chauffeured through Hanoi for a few days via private convoy, Zuckerberg, his quasi-wife Priscilla Chan, and a team of private security skipped town for beautiful Sapa and Halong Bay, where they enjoyed a Christmas morning junk boat cruise — with a miniature decorated tree onboard — through some local islands.

Once the boating was over, the couple took a private helicopter to their hotel, the cushy Topas Ecolodge, and nearby hiking grounds. But the physical gauntlet wasn't over! The next day centered around an Amazing Race-style competition with the ZuckChan Clan and their best friends.

You know you're rich as balls when you can recreate reality television shows for personal amusement.

The pals, divided into teams, partook in traditional Tet holiday fun like "blindfolded goat-catching," "pole-climbing," and other feats of dominance. And now, close your eyes and imagine Mark Zuckerberg trying to catch a Vietnamese goat while blindfolded.

The trip ended with more hiking, where Zuck didn't even need to hunt down local wildlife to kill and eat, because his entire trip was restricted to the finest vegetarian fare in the 3rd world:

Dinners

Grilled Fillet With Coconut With Barbecue Sauce

Fried Tofu With Tomato Sauce

Fried Egg With Sapa Mushroom

Sapa trout carpaccio with shallot and lemon oil

Grilled pork and apple skewers with Sapa honey (Don't touch that, Mark!)

Sapa mushroom risotto

Eggplant, tomato and onion gratin

Lunch

Cucumber Salad

Fried Shrimp vegetable

Fried Channa Maculata Fish

Potato with Cheese

Desserts

Baked pear and cinnamon crumble

Creme caramel

Gingerbread pudding

Rice pudding with Strawberry sauce

Why vegetarian food, served to a man renowned for this locavore bloodlust? Our sources tell us Zuck and Priscilla had a bet that he couldn't pull it off. And nobody beats Mark Zuckerberg, a man who unites animal wrasslin' and carpaccio, at anything.

Now you know what all of those ads are paying for.


Comments

    "quasi-wife Priscilla Chan" - you guys are stupidly harsh. They are in a long term relationship, but I guess that does not tally with tech try-hards trying to paint him as an uber-nerd or whatever? Those who can, run sucessful tech ventures and have awesome lives, those who can't ,steal shit from apple and blather about it :-)

      You are the harsh one Jeremy! As far as I know they aren't married, (Mark and Priscilla) so why is it harsh to say that she resembles his wife? That statement agrees with your statement. You seem to be arguing for the articles' point of view while arguing against the idea that you actually understand the very thing you quoted. Strange. I mean...who is the one blathering? Really?

        My point is a simple one - she is just his defacto. Quasi-wife implies there is something "geeky" and "odd" about thier relationship, when in fact is a perfectly normal modern partnership between to smart capable people. Giz does love language-mangling for its own sake :-)

    good that he is living life instead of working on the cancer that is facebook, the worst creation in the world.

      That cancer which you call, I call Facebook, is a great tool that I took advantage of, someone like you who may not understand well in this technology age. You see, I found my cousins whom I couldn't get in contact before, friends and relatives who live overseas, get in contact, chat and update what we're doing, than going through the expensive phone line and many wonderful things. If you think that's cancer, than you don't deserve to be on this planet.

    "More money than Christ", that would fit most people in the western world. Christ is well documented to have lead a frugal life shunning wealth and possesions.

    "Red Vietnam"? The '50s called, they want their bigotry back.

    all tht time spent flying to vietnam and he eats wat? At least try the local cuisine why bother eating something you can fly a chef in for? So much for being adventurous

    Funny, I used to ride those water buffalos back in the Philippines. They stink a lot.

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