Japan Unleashing Packs Of Wild Monkeys To Test Fukushima Radiation

Problem: nobody knows just how bad the radioactive contamination is at Fukushima, nine months later. Prediction: still pretty bad. Solution: send in a bunch of monkeys armed with radiation meters and GPS collars, hope for the best. Let's do it!

The Telegraph reports that the experimental simian expedition, conducted by Fukushima University, is designed to survey a wide range of area and elevations — using 14 separate monkey teams. "We decided to use monkeys for this project because the territory they cover is very well known to us," says the lead scientist. Yes, and also because the monkeys are not humans, and nobody will really notice or care if they all get radiation poisoning. Perhaps to this point, the GPS collars will actually detach at the end of the radiation hunt, ensuring nobody will ever be able to trace these irradiated monkeys in the wild. Until they march on Tokyo. [Telegraph]


Comments

    Lol, reminds me of Caesar from Planet of the Apes. Just you wait...Humans are the worst things that could happen to Earth.

      Couldnt agree more

    Fukushima happened 9 months ago?

      IKR! Seems only like a month or two ago it happened. Crazy stuff..

    Why not just use whales?...

      It would give their argument of waling for science some traction.

    Is anyone else getting images of 1950s comics where radiation soaked apes attack the world?

    Or maybe something like this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titano

    I for one welcome our new radioactive super-monkey overlords.

    Please release some lizards and moths to check out the radiation, keen to see some Gojira v Mosura action.

    so its okay to send monkeys in to get radiated to death OR become superpowered beings but its not okay to take their fur.... PETA?!>!!>>!>!??

      Japan doesn't have anything PETA or RSCPA. It's bad place for pets and animals.

    This sounds like the pretext for a really bad comic book....

    This just goes to show why nuclear power is such a terrible way to generate electricity- How many years is this after Chernobyl and we STILL have a major incident on this scale. Japan is supposed to be so technologically advanced but they struggled like idiots to cope and the apologists kept coming up with transparent justifications like company corruption and out-dated systems etc.
    Basically, if this can happen here, it can and will happen elsewhere.

      Nuclear power is great... on paper. Some just countries don't have the right corporate culture to run nuclear power. Japan; likes lie and hide bad news. Russian; crazy bastards that like to take risks.
      Nuclear power plant on a fault line and next the sea, also bad idea.

      Oceanzone: If you do a bit of research comparing the number of deaths per 1000 (not total deaths, as they differ in size) of the Coal industry and Nuclear industry you will discover that nuclear has a better safety record than coal.
      Yes nuclear gets the headlines. Yes safety measures at Fukushima were ignored that could have prevented the accident. This is a matter for regulation and audit not a reason for pushing the no nuclear button.
      No one is going to deny the absurdity of building in Earthquake and Tsunami zones.
      Fukushima has polluted a small area, that will recover in a few years as most of the pollutants have short half lives. Burning of coal has polluted an entire planet with CO2. We may never recover from that.
      It is time for people who love this planet and want to preserve it for future generations to review their prejudices and assumptions in the light of current technology and knowledge. Green technologies at the moment cannot provide the power demands of a planet with 7 Billion people on it.
      Nuclear provides a less damaging form of energy than coal while we take measures to improve renewable technologies and reduce our total energy needs.

    Those monkeys should just hang around in hotsprings like they normally do.
    "Fuck you guys, we're staying right here."

    Replace the monkeys with the CEO of the Fukushima Power plant and i I'll be happy.
    Is this not the home of tech and robotronics? why not a robot?

      You want to replace a monkey with a monkey? ;)

    what a stupid idea! especially since the half life of some of those radioactive isotopes is probably several hundred thousand years. and what about animal cruelty? pity the monkeys can't turn the tables on those researchers and send them in, with collars and all.

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