I don’t care how many stories you tell your grandkids about how terrific you were when you were their age; all it’s going to take is one look at your Facebook Timeline to shatter the illusion. Stupid honest history.
For this reason, my Facebook updates and tweets are going to be entirely filled with dangerous/charitable/impressive things that I am definitely not actually doing. I suggest you do the same, and pray no one tags you in a beer bong photo that proves otherwise. [Chuck & Beans]