You see, the smaller spear squid are at a distinct disadvantage. In order to knock up a lady squid, one has to sort of grapple with her, forcing your squid sperm into her squid sperm receptacle, right by her mouth. Big spear squid also glow in the dark! This is the equivalent of an older, cooler guy with a nice car.
Small spear squid can’t glow, but scientists have discovered their sperm is about 20 per cent larger — and when you’re a tiny squid, that makes a big difference. The little guys are able to scoot over mid tentacle-sexing, shoot in some bazooka sperm, and then dart off. And because evolution is a wonderful, wonderful thing, the lady squid’s openings are actually built perfectly to suck in this XL sperm, ensuring the survival of the species, despite size disparities. The big squid are all, What the HELL was that, Laura? I’m going to kick his ass! And Laura doesn’t say anything, because she’s a squid, and squid cannot talk. Size does matter, if you’re a runty spear squid. Nature finds a way. [National Geographic -- Thanks Maureen!]
Joel
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 10:36 AMInb4
WAT DIS HAV DO WIV TECH?
BLAH BLAH APPLE SUX.
Mike
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 1:03 PMYEAH BUT WAT DIS HAV DO WIV TECH?
The Joker
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 12:21 PMI’m disappointed. I expected all sorts of childish male comments about this story. Oh well, guess I’ll have to be the first….you’ll notice the squid is blonde.
Joe Magic
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 1:13 PMMaybe the Laura the squid cannot talk because she has a mouth full of over-sized squid jizz?
cflow
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 3:34 PMShouldn’t this be on Jizzmodo.com?
Graeme
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 3:48 PMYou want impressive sperm? Call 1800…… no, that’s not what I meant; check out the fruit fly! Its sperm is longer than its body and it’s actually the longest of any animal.
poltak
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 5:17 PMSounds like a Japanese porno.
Small Squid
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 8:16 PMBest. Article. Ever.