Heyyyyyyyyy. Whatsss up?? Are U still awake? D ccc What’s goin on???? U THERE? hHehHEyyyy. Yooo. R U there?? r u doIng anything OTnight??? Yo! Heyyyy. Hey. Heyy. Heyyy! What do these texts mean?
If you need any help deciphering the above on a particularly bibulous night, consult this handy diagram. There’s no art to crafting the drunken SMS, but there’s certainly a science to decoding it. The double-y hey is definitely a tricky one to decipher, but I think they’re spot on here. But what about heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Probably “One of us is going to be pregnant very soon. Possibly right now.” [Male Minded via BuzzFeed]