She says her formerly kind and sweet boyfriend has been replaced with this jealous and insecure grosso. The two are living together and she was asking Dear Prudence what to do. Um, it’s quite clear to me: get the heck out and ditch the dude. The guy violated one of the tenets of personal privacy.
There’s just a certain amount of digital privacy that should exist in all relationships. Don’t check my e-mails, don’t peep my texts, don’t hijack my Facebook! Once people start digging around your personal digital history, chat logs, DMs, etc. something will be come out and it won’t be pretty. Avoid all that by trusting your partner. It sounds cheesy but extend the same trust you have in them in real life to their computer too. If it’s important, they’ll eventually tell you everything you need to know. [Slate]
Scott
Monday, April 11, 2011 at 10:15 AMThat is super creepy. More than being about privacy, relationships are about trust. Even among friends you rely on trusting each other but if your partner is resorting to spying on you and then using that information against you the relationship is long past salvageable. Then again that’s just my opinion.
Glenn
Monday, April 11, 2011 at 11:09 AMCreepy, without a doubt. Leave him now, probably not just yet. (But don’t wait long)
If it’s a sudden change, there may be something else wrong, and he probably needs help, and he may not realize it himself. (Professional help, a councilor at least.) Try and get him the help first, then if he won’t, the only option is to leave.
Certainly, if he won’t get help for it leave, but if she truly cares for him try and get him help first…
Adam
Tuesday, April 12, 2011 at 9:37 AMGlenn, why are you wasting your time giving this woman your considered advice? She’s sent in the question to a different site, and she’s not reading this one.