He’s been a cranky chaos theorist, an abusive godfather, and repelled an alien invasion to safe the entire planet. But one role you probably don’t know about? A creepy, tween-seducing vampire in a Steven Spielberg-helmed Goosebumps computer game. Yeah. Yeah.
The (thankfully) forgotten Goosebumps: Escape From HorrorLand also bizarrely starred Isabella Rossellini for some reason – were these actors all in a lot of debt in 1996? – and represents everything that was terrible about computer games in that era. Awful graphics. Cheesy dialogue. Ridiculous FMV. And, of course, Jeff Goldblum, wearing a vampire costume that looks like it cost about $US45 to whip together, waltzing with a young girl against a CG backdrop. Click him! Click him to save the day! Or just click close tab and forget this deranged moment in computer history ever existed, which is what I’m going to struggle to do for the rest of the day. [PopMatters via io9]
WhiteY
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 10:41 AMThe sad part about this is that I played this game when I was growing up and because I was fully in love with R.L Stines books, I didn’t care how bad the game play was – I just enjoyed the fact that I could play a game based on what R.L Stines ideas were at the time.
Looking back at my disturbed childhood, the game and books make me laugh at how crazy I was to think it was even slightly good! Also, I find it strange how when I was 12/13 and playing this game, I didn’t find it one bit odd that an older male (Goldblum) seduced a young teeny bopper.. It’s strange how innocent and unsuspecting I was as a kid to how I am now.
Jackpolo
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 11:49 AMHaha yeah I played this game too, I actually won it as part of a Goosebumps competition. Some bits of it were really hard…
Alicia
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 6:58 PMPfft! This game was amazing! I spent a huge chunk of my pre-teen years playing this over and over and not a second of it was wasted. The dialogue was intended for a young audience so obviously it wasn’t oscar-winning stuff. Jeff Goldblum’s acting in this game was the only slightly negative aspect – otherwise it was pretty damn flawless. The writer is just being a negative nancy …
Mr Biggles
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 8:40 PMSeriously though, at least let us know that it’s not until after 6:00 that Jeff actually shows up…