Valentine’s day is right around the corner. Whatever you do, don’t download the K-Y Yours + Mine app for iOS. If you do, you’ll be single before you can say “oops!”
The app comes in two parts. You download the K-Y Yours app, and then invite your partner to download the K-Y Mine app either over SMS or email. Both are free (thank Christ!), and once your partner accepts your request you can begin “flirting” with eachother.
The app is a private IM app between you and your partner. Except instead of sending the messages you write, the app translate them into sexy-talk.
To demonstrate, I convinced Kotaku editor Mark Serrels to be my sexy talk partner (*I was the dude). Here are some of the messages we sent and the versions received:
I sent: It’s been a long day. Can’t wait for the weekend.
He received: I’m going to pamper you later.He sent: I’m going to eat some chicken and shit.
I received: I’m yours for the taking.I sent: I once ate a whole large pizza and fries plus dessert. I felt like vomiting afterwards.
He received: I’m picturing you in your lingerie.
So the app doesn’t so much “translate” your messages as just sends completely bullshit stock phrases that are “sexy”. Which makes it completely useless as an IM app because you can’t actually have a proper conversation with someone. It’s all about sexting, whether you want it or not. And there’s no rhyme or reason to the type of messages sent either.
Our advice: Don’t download this app. If you want to enjoy Valentine’s Day (or any other day) as a happy couple, this is not going to help your relationship.
[iTunes]
Ben White
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 2:47 PMDownloading right now!!
Matt
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:02 PMThis will be number 1 in the app store within 24 hours.
Art
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:14 PM@Ben- LOL.
Tracey
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 2:49 PM“I am going to eat some chicken and shit” is the best thing ever.
Chumplunt
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:27 PMI’m actually more interested to know if it’s a typo or not. Because otherwise he’s going to eat. come. chicken. and then shit?
Chris
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:15 PMI’m going to fondle your toes
Chris
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:15 PMWait! I didn’t write that!!!
Dave
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 9:19 PMYeah havnt you ever had KFC.
Paddy
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:45 PMI think the the “autocorrect” in my iPhone is more likely to get me laid.
http://damnyouautocorrect.com
Rydog
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:51 PMIs ‘come’ meant to say ‘some’, cause eating come, chicken & shit would be terrible…
I sent: It’s been a long day. Can’t wait for the weekend.
He received: I’m going to pamper you later.
He sent: I’m going to eat come chicken and shit.
I received: I’m yours for the taking.
I sent: I once ate a whole large pizza and fries plus dessert. I felt like vomiting afterwards.
He received: I’m picturing you in your lingerie.
Nick Broughall
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 3:52 PMYeah, typo. Fixed… after many Lols. :)
Sam Cook
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 4:32 PMCan I submit this Comment for this years Gizmodo awards now? XD
Mark
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 4:19 PMYikes. Which dead brain agency though this would fly? I’m getting sick of these direct marketing apps. Meh.
Repneiras
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 4:43 PMIf only I was as fluent in sexy-talk as you two…
Nick Broughall
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 4:57 PMYears of training, and maybe – just maybe – you could download an iPhone app to get you there :)
tsengan
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 7:33 PMMUAHAHA. Brilliant app.
dravid
Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 6:41 PMha, I actually think its hilarious. sexting ftw