A Cost-Benefit Analysis Of Getting The Shit Tasered Out Of You At CES

Live Taser demos! Easily one of my favourite parts of CES. But is getting Tasered worth it? You do walk away with this Taser hat and commemorative coin! On the other hand, well, here’s the release you sign. Gulp.

That font’s pretty small, so let me call out some of the salient bits:

Any use of force, physical exertion, capture, control, restraint, or incapacitation involves risks that a person may get hurt or die.

Unintential Deployment Hazard. Unintentional ECD [Ed: Electronic Control Device]activation could result in death or serious injury to the User, force recipient, and others.

Hazardous Substances. The ECD contains components that contain chemicals known to the State of California and others to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Do not disassemble.

Adverse physiologic or metabolic effects may increase risk of death or serious injury.

Incapacitation, Falling, and Startle Hazard. ECD use may cause muscular contraction, Neuro Muscular Incapacitation (“NMI”), startling, and falling, which could result in death or serious injury.

Fracture to bone, including compression fracture to vertebrae, may occur.

And that’s just the first page! The second is more of the same, plus the usual about how you can’t sue if you’re injured and your family can’t sue if you die. Oh, and something about permanent scarring and puncturing of organs.

But hey, nice hat bro!