iPhone 3G, I Think I’m Leaving You

I’ve been in a long-term relationship with the iPhone since well before the iPhone 3G launched in 2008. From that very first Jobs keynote, I’ve been captivated by the stunning design and intuitive user interface, the diverse functionality and the convenience of the iPhone. But now, as I approach the end of my 24-month iPhone 3G contract, I’m discovering that the passion has died, and it’s time to move on. iPhone 3G, I think I’m leaving you.

Its not a decision I’ve taken lightly. For a good 18 months, our relationship was as steady as rock set in concrete and reinforced with steel. Other smartphones came and went, but nothing had the power to make me even consider upgrading. Even last year’s 3GS model couldn’t entice me away with its larger storage capacity and faster speeds.

But now things are different. The 3G just isn’t the phone I fell in love with all those years ago.

It’s impossible for me to pinpoint the exact moment my feelings started to change, but I remember little things starting to go wrong about six months ago. Like the album art on my music never being correct, and the phone slowing down while launching a game of Angry Birds. Activities that used to be lightning fast started taking a lot longer. On a number of occasions, the phone would tell me I had no service at all, but after restarting it would show full bars. Syncing started taking longer and longer, despite me adding less and less to the 16GB of storage.

But the knife that severed our relationship was iOS 4.

Ever since upgrading to the new OS – which took me a day and a half and involved a factory reset of the phone to even work – my passion has completely evaporated. With the latest firmware, even the process of unlocking the phone can take seconds. Launching the SMS app to send a text freezes the phone. Typing a message takes an age. I haven’t played a game on the 3G for six weeks – anything with solitaire-level graphics or above is like wrenching up the handbrake in your car while driving along a motorway. Music playback starts jumping like a scratched LP if the phone is ever doing anything else at the same time.The list of niggles and disappointments grows with every passing day, to the point where I now have to say enough is enough.

We had some good times, iPhone 3G. Some great times. But now we’ve grown apart and the love is gone – It’s time for me to move on. Perhaps I’ll spend some time on my own, trying out new handsets each day while I try and forget about you. It’s not like I’m ever wanting for phones to play with.

Maybe I’ll get myself a shiny new iPhone 4, although the likelihood of that happening diminishes every day that Apple deny the reception issue and fail to act on it. Or maybe I’ll just find myself a nice little Android powered handset that doesn’t ask too much of me and has the specs to last me a couple of years.

Whatever happens though, you’ll always be the first smartphone I truly loved using, iPhone 3G. And for that, I will always remember you fondly, regardless of how our relationship ended. Maybe one day in the future, I’ll pull you out of storage and reminisce about the good times we had. But until then, I think it’s better if we don’t speak to each other any more.

Goodbye.