I wonder how many times Steve Ballmer laughed about the iPhone after pooping all over it in this 2007 interview. My guess: Not many. Don’t worry Steve, here’s the rest of the top 5 assclowns who dug their own grave:
Assclown Number 5: Ed Zander, Motorola CEO/Chairman and amateur juggler, 10 May 2007
How do they deal with us?
Yes, how would they deal with you now that Motorola is almost dead, Ed?
Assclown Number 4: John C. Dvorak, tech columnist and professional assclown at large, 28 March 2007
Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone… What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it’s smart it will call the iPhone a ‘reference design’ and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else’s marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures… Otherwise I’d advise people to cover their eyes. You are not going to like what you’ll see.
What we don’t like to see is you, John, getting into these bags of hurt all by yourself.
Assclown Number 3: Jon Rubinstein, Palm CEO and former Apple Vice President, iPod Division, September 27, 2005
Is there a toaster that also knows how to brew coffee? There is no such combined device, because it would not make anything better than an individual toaster or coffee machine. It works the same way with the iPod, the digital camera or mobile phone: it is important to have specialized devices.
Exactly like the Palm Pre, Jon, which is a smartphone and a cheese slicer.
Assclown Number 2: Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO and zoologist, 30 April 2007
There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance. It’s a $500 subsidized item. They may make a lot of money. But if you actually take a look at the 1.3 billion phones that get sold, I’d prefer to have our software in 60% or 70% or 80% of them, than I would to have 2% or 3%, which is what Apple might get.
Re-reading that must hurt. If you are Steve Ballmer.
Assclown Number 1: Ed Colligan, Ex-Palm CEO, Bono’s pal, and stamp collector, 16 Nov 2006
We’ve learned and struggled for a few years here figuring out how to make a decent phone. PC guys are not going to just figure this out. They’re not going to just walk in.
Apparently, Ed, they walked right in, stole your lunch, your dinner, your wife, your car, your horse, and all your pudding. And then they ate it. And pooped it out.
Special Bonus Assclown: Anssi Vanjoki, Nokia’s chief strategist and famed red herring tin can collector, 30 Nov 2009
The development of mobile phones will be similar in PCs. Even with the Mac, Apple has attracted much attention at first, but they have still remained a niche manufacturer. That will be in mobile phones as well.
I have a hard time believing that Nokia’s chief strategist—aka this guy—actually said that last month. Wake up, Anssi, and smell the coffee, because you are being smashed. [AAPLinvestors via Fortune]
glennc
December 3, 2009 at 11:40 AM
that’s because they underestimated all the sheep in human clothing out there. can’t really blame them, they just had more faith in humans than they should have.
its a shame, i like the phone but hate the owners and therefore refuse to become one of them
Report PermalinkJohn Towns
December 3, 2009 at 11:55 AM
Re Ballmer: Well he was pointing to the price of $500 above your contract subsidy. A few months later in Sept 07 they dropped the the $499 model completely, selling remaining stock off at $299, and dropped the top spec model from $599 to $399.
This burned the early adopters so much they offered a $100 store credit to the people that payed top whack.
So just how wrong was he? He also acknowledged that it may make lots of money.
P.S. I’m an Apple shareholder, and if Jobs gets asked about the latest Zune or Xbox I don’t expect him to say “It’s great and going to be huge” in public, even if he privately thinks it is great. Actually, if he did, me and the other shareholders would fire his @rse.
Report PermalinkEddie
December 3, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Seriously now… don’t you think you guys spend WAY too much time covering the iPhone stories… and Apple products in general. The iPhone is basically an iPod with a phone function and lots of pretty looking apps that are idiot proof which is why 90% of iPhone owners are teenagers (and sad lonely old men).
Yes i admit Apple products are ‘pretty’ but it stops there! All the cashed-up people out there that swear by their MacPros/MacBooks etc… you don’t even know that it’s just a bunch of 3rd party hardware put together in a pretty Apple case and optimized for the OS… and you get charged 3 times the price of a PC.
I’m usually good at ignoring Apple lovers but this story just ticked me off for some reason.
Seriously Gizmodo… I love this site, and there isn’t a day that i don’t check it.. but you seriously need to cut down on favouring Apple.. unless ofcourse your whole office is decked out in Apple gear for mentioning an Apple product at least 5 times in your stories.
Lots of love from… a proud Nokia N97 phone and a self built home PC owner(which by the way i can upgrade and tinker with as i please.. unlike the Apple owners :)
Report PermalinkSteerpike
December 3, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Speaking of sad old men with phones!!!!!
Report PermalinkSeth
December 3, 2009 at 6:51 PM
They should rename it to ‘Applemodo’, or ‘Macmodo’ eh?
Actually, Macmodo sounds alright.
Report PermalinkHoaxville
December 5, 2009 at 3:26 PM
“a self built home PC owner(which by the way i can upgrade and tinker with as i please.. ”
Like they say, If you want to work ON your computer, get a PC. If you want to work WITH your computer, get a Mac.
I wouldn’t use a PC if you payed me.
Report Permalinkjonny
December 3, 2009 at 3:05 PM
Remember the world at large hates the smug, sheeplike apple fan-queens.
Report PermalinkJonathan Lim
December 3, 2009 at 3:15 PM
Lol..nice one steerpike.
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