Regretsy: The Creepy Side To Making And Selling Your Own Crafts

As much as I admire people who believe enough in their artistic output to foist it on others for money, I knew Etsy had a dark side. Well, someone with the no-nonsense pseudonym Helen Killer just showed it to me:

Here are a few choice excerpts from Regretsy; just a taste, mind you, no substitute for a visit. Be careful, though, because the amazing site is not always safe for work. Looking over the entries makes me wish it were as fictitious as Kasper Hauser’s brilliant—but mercifully fake—SkyMaul.

Whenever I hear “Michael Jackson”, I immediately think “baseball”. Well technically, I think “Little League”, but you know what I’m saying. [Link]

Usually I just use the guest towels when we’re out of toilet paper. [Link]

You know what goats like? They like grass. They don’t like having leopard outfits strapped to their sagging haunches like Kim Cattrall. [Link]

Santo trompas de Falopio! Who wouldn’t want to curl up with the stuffed reproductive organs of Mexico’s most famous bisexual surrealist? [Link]

It goes without saying “Santo trompas de Falopio!” is my new favourite expression of surprise. Hit the site for way more where this came from. [Regretsy (NSFW)]