Blood Energy Potion Review: Better Than True Blood

Yep, I drank it. It’s not what I expected.

It’s thin. There’s no viscosity at all. And it tastes like Hawaiian punch, spiked with caffeine, Twilight fangirl tears and mascara. It would be really gross at body temperature.

Twenty minutes after imbibing, my fuzzy brain can focus again. I start wondering why they don’t use real vampire blood, ’cause on True Blood it’s like meth + steroids + ecstasy, which would make it an even better mixer for Halloween parties, amiright? It has a lot of iron in it, which I actually need even less than meth.

An hour later, I definitely have the jitters. I think it’s because I had a macchiato like an hour before I drank the the blood. Want more blood to calm nerves. I resist, but get really thirsty and drink a litre of water.

Two hours later, have to pee really bad. There’s no crash, but the boost is definitely gone, two hours short of their 4-hour claim. Decide to take a nap because it’s too bright outside, now that it’s stopped raining for a week straight in New York. [Harcos]