Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth

@dry-roasted-peanuts: I would like to unthank the both of you for the most unfounded waste of time i have ever spent. Effing shipp.

iminahammock

@fargi: I promote this.

iminahammock

Please, landing on the moon is easy. Just ask Wallace & Gromit.

darngooddesign

@GitEmSteveDave_WonAForeignLottery!: ... at least my crackpot theory has Reptoids in it and assumes the earth is hollow...

dry-roasted-peanuts

@ArtisticThought: which one of you landed on an a asteroid, Sir?

Pixlmonkey

I read this last night on the Onion and it was hilarious. Thanks for sharing it to those who haven't!

I am in a very pleasant mood today.

Anyone who belives that the moon landing didn't occur, after seeing the overwhelming evidence that supports the assertion that it did, is an idiot.

Period.

They are in the same boat as creationists and flat earthers.

@GitEmSteveDave_WonAForeignLottery!: "will wake up from your pod" all naked and alone in a pod of lube.... isnt that like what you normally wake up in?

No, no, no, you *all* have it all wrong. It's not that the lunar landing is a hoax or not. The event never really took place to begin with. The world actually only came into existence on the date we know as June 6th, 2003; complete with people with their own unique memories, "recorded history", evidence "proving" that it's older, and false accepted ideas about how the universe works; at the whim of a fickle "God" who doesn't really care if you kiss her ass, just as long as she's entertained by us. Try to prove me wrong. You can't, therefore I must be right. Neener-neener.

coyote1284: P.E.T.U.

Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their C...
This video was even better, most of all because it is soooo true

Still not as funny as Buzz Aldrin punching some asshole for accusing him of being a fraud. The guys take their fraud seriously.

I'm all for the onion, but tbh they could have written something funnier. As for the conspiracy... All I'm gonna say is I want to be the first person to bone a blue, three-boobed Neptunian chick. I know that doesnt really have anything to do with the moon landing but... it had to be said.

@LaurelDeer: Yet they couldn't shut up a mule faced lady from coming forward with evidence that the President of the United States lied to a jury, and get him disbarred? The only way three men can keep a secret is if two of them are dead, and a rise in deaths amongst NASA people would be a part of the Moon Hoaxers argument if such thing occurred.

Seriously, how does having spy satellites that can see things stop someone from talking or publishing their evidence under the anonymity of the internet?

@[www.revisionism.nl]

@[www.revisionism.nl]

@[www.revisionism.nl]

@Bigbadbikernerd: Idiot. Everyone knows the moon is a hoax. It doesn't exist. Who lets gullible people like you in the Internets?

[www.revisionism.nl]

Thats alot of tax dollars spent on what exactly?

evilR3

@Totalfixation: Maybe because they tend to make fun of ideas you actually support.

Otherwise, I would guess you're not that much into sarcasm.

fargi

@[news.bbc.co.uk]

genpetahhhh

Good, glad that's out of the way. Now how about we get the truth about there actually being no moon. That's right people.

There is no moon.

The Reptoids are just hoaxing us into believing that space exists so we don't go exploring their secret lairs under the earth.

dry-roasted-peanuts

@jetRink: lol

MMBman7171

@ArtisticThought: The other reality is that even if it was true we probably would be long past the chance of finding out. The best conspiracy is the one you never hear about. Right?

MMBman7171

@Andre Ondre: Wait, people actually believe that? We've landed on asteroids and mars, not to mention the moons of other planets, good sir. NASA simply hasn't had the funds or initiative to land on the moon over the last few decades until recently.

Haha, "NASA is LYING to YOU!" Whenever an article I'm reading refers to a large organization or company as a single-minded entity instead of referencing a specific person in it, I typically conclude the writer has no idea what they're talking about and no clue about the complexities of reality. Either that or they talk in such simple language because some people will be persuaded by it and they know it, such as with the Axis of Evil.

@Andre Ondre: have you ever heard of the onio, good sir?

edit: i mean to call you a fool

@PaddyDugan: You SHOULD despise them, but starting at the top - the media. (After all, it takes less brain power to watch TV than to learn mathematics and science.)

grok666

Well Ive been saying for a long time that the moon landings were Fake, to honestly think we can land man on moon in 1969 with computers as powerful as standard digital watches, and yet in 2000's we cant land a man on moon despite having better technology and computers

Andre Ondre

@ipodrulz: WRONG. Elvis died in a fiery car wreck outside Vegas last Memorial Day weekend... I read it in the newspaper... The Sunâ„¢ .

DustyButtâ„¢

@I Think We're Property: Your mistake is asking a conspiracy theorist to accept evidence that he didn't pull out of his own head.

jetRink

I really hope there aren't any people that haven't heard of The Onion yet.

Zencyde

Yes this is funny! But there are effin retards who will take it as serious as the conspiracy so we should all die a little inside still...

not funny

redangel7

@Bigbadbikernerd: It was my intent :P

I was just trying to role play as a conspiracy theorist. ;)

But wait! There is more! The moon is also luminous meaning Steve Jobs secret Lair is on the moon (his sickness was merely an illusion. He traveled to his base). Lord Xenu is from space meaning Steve Jobs had to go up there to make a deal with him and that's how he is linked to the church of scientology which controls much of hollywood who controls a great deal of culture through movies and subliminal messaging! All leads back to Steve Jobs making deals with the government and how he got his awesome moonbase and the government who faked the landing! It all makes sense!

:P

For the hell of it, I went to Ralph's site and performed the same Photoshop level change tricks on the original photograph from the Apollo Archive site, and guess what?

No stage lighting, no mystery figure in the visor. Oh, and I also did this level change in each color channel. Nothing stood out.

So Ralph, why don't you F off and do something socially productive. The world has too many A holes in it already - go ahead, I dare you to be a non-conformist!

@snoop_dizzle: Wow dude, I think you're crazy...

Bigbadbikernerd

@Bigbadbikernerd: They are watching you.

They being the illuminati, the illuminati being luminous, meaning Apple since their logo on their macbook/pros are luminous including the Apple on their stores, the "apple of the eye" meaning the eye on the pyramid on our currency meaning Steve Jobs is the head of the Illuminati and the all seeing eye. Bill Gates for being friends in the past with Steve Jobs but really part of that very illuminati. The competition between Apple and Microsoft is merely an illusion as both lead to the same cause!

I tell you now beware for the impending doom shall come. It all makes sense and you cannot argue with my logic!

But I must be brief, and leave for they are watching as we speak. We shall speak of this later.

@Chris: Of course Elvis and 2Pac are still alive... I heard they were recently seen with Michael Jackson.

One of the things that I tend to question about these moon-hoax theories is how they explain the rocks. Its usually something they gloss over. Did they get a whole bunch of geologists to lie about the rocks and soil samples they examined, which were reported to be subtly unique in composition to anything on earth? Did NASA somehow manufacture or otherwise fabricate fake moon rocks and soil using obscure techniques that wouldn't occur to geologists? Did they send up an unmanned probe, collect some samples, bring them back, and then shove them into the 'reentry' capsule before airdropping it in the ocean? And speaking of probes, was it with stealth probes launched during the fake "manned" launches that they placed the mirrors and other assorted bits of ground-observable evidence for the landings? All I tend to hear are "photo inconsistencies" and "soundstage in New Mexico". Occasionally "Van Allen radiation belt", too, for variety.

I Think We're Property

America has become a nation whose people trust myths instead of learning. Which means we will believe almost anything the media tell us. This realization has helped me stopped despising the idiots.

PaddyDugan

Elvis and 2Pac are still alive, and everyone will see when we make a real trip to the moon and discover that's where they've been living. ;)

@DRACULA.

I Think We're Property

Finally! We can now go back to believing the moon is made out of cheese.

It is made out of cheese you know...the squirrels told me. Now the little bastards are after me. They watch you though the remote sensor on your T.V., so make sure that you rip yours out...

Oh shit...I think they know I'm writing this...........

Bigbadbikernerd

I just don't know why but I seriously dislike The Onion. I don't find any of their articles amusing.

Totalfixation

Michael Jackson, 2Pac, and Elvis are all alive and together laughing at us all. I tell you the truth! :P

Wow. That's crazy. I don't know what else to say.