Helping Hands Condom Applicator Makes Me Shrivel Up In Fear
Have trouble fumbling with slippery condoms in the heat of the moment? If faced with the choice, I’d choose practicing before using the Helping Hands Condom Applicator. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cry a little. [CollegeHumor]
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@lunarstudio: Hey "Stumpy", I hate to burst your bubble, but no normal woman wants to be skewered by a tree stump.
redman042
@Brisco_County_Jr: Holy Shit thast epic
.
Hi! Vince Offer here with the Nut Shot!
Boy have we got a death-er-deal for you!
@OCEntertainment: OMG, this seriously made me LOL...my gut hurts now...or it could be the shitty coffee in the office...either way my gut hurts
id rather not have safe sex than use that 'thing'...
nikolask7
@mdn: German version or german VERSION?
Underscore_Lysdexia
@luciusad2004: Ha, "to shreds." That's just funny. Prolly be famous soon.
iminahammock
@Curves: Thank you, on behalf of men everywhere.
Bigbadbikernerd
@Leonce: Or Saddam.
Bigbadbikernerd
Anyone want a circumcision party? I hear those were all the rage. Lets party like it's 600 B.C.!
@Video... Lmfao.. Right.. I'm not that lazy.
--Core--
@lunarstudio: blah, my bad, further research shows some guys do have fitment problems. But in genearl most guys are gonna find something that fits if they really care to look.
luciusad2004
@lunarstudio: Liar, You can stretch a regular sized condom up your arm, Who knows how much body a magnum would cover, probably half the universe. Any guy who says they don't fit is just lieing cuz he doesn't wanna use one or is a freak. In which case you probably tear any vagina you stick your dick in to, to shreds.
luciusad2004
Oh, and it also has only a 54% failure rate, measured by the trusty Game Informer
Bokusatsu_Tenshi
@lunarstudio: Tie a knot in it.
Robusto68
the guy who made that prop is a genius, it's 90% a modified "Rabbit" corkscrew
bytepusher
@iminahammock: And most guys don't "accidentally" miss and hit the other hole?
Do tell!
Remember... only one of the two tubes is safe...
WHY?!?!?
Order now and receive free German/Swede to yell instructions to you.
"Place yoah peniz in ze howle! Now clahmp! CLAHMP YOAH PENIZ!!"
@Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!: He's pitching it to the devil right now.
Leonce
I figured this was going to be a classic case of a solution in search of a problem. But I see it was actually a joke in search of something to satirize. Either way, pointless (aside from all those nails).
jdale
@DaveExile (Starless since 2006!): nah, they would just find someone who doesn't even know what a condom is, and reproduce with them. This way they're at least out of the gene-pool, though those spikes should go for the balls too just to be on the safe side.
@MisterWho *Star: You mean "not bad enough for him", why would you need Billys genius to sell a good product.
it's an hotdog tenderizer.
os_2
IT'S AN APPLICATOR AND CIRCUMCISER ALL IN ONE!!!
@lunarstudio: No problem. If they keep falling off, then just use rubber bands to clamp them down. Either that, or you could use a water balloon.
@Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!: Probably not a good enough product for him to raise from the dead for.
Why wasn't Billy Mayes ALL OVER THIS THING!??
Magic Beans? Sure, I'll Buy Some!!
@iminahammock: close, but a good trick i've found is buying 8' diameter drainage piping and covering it in Seran wrap.
e-friend
I got the Swedish model
mdn
@lunarstudio: Step up to trash bags, brah.
iminahammock
Pity cringe.
@iminahammock: Most don't fit me.
I have spent my entire life "shriveled up in fear". Therefore, I envy you. Is that what they mean by penis envy?
PaddyDugan
No one *actually* has a problem putting one on....
iminahammock
@Xterm11: ESCAPED YOUR HYPERLINK: Wow, I didn't know Paris Hilton posted here.
@DaveExile (Starless since 2006!): I, what, no.
aubreyAubrey
I have nothing good to say, no comeback, no comment, nothing. My life has no purpose or meaning.
Xterm11: ESCAPED YOUR HYPERLINK
So its a trap...
XDoctor
The look on his face was priceless.
You'd think those unable to use condoms would be the least
likely to reproduce.....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs
Speaking of unfortunate collegiate sex misadventures...
If Billy May's was alive to sell this......I would totally buy it.
I always thought she was the helping hands.
I know one person who would enjoy that.
i have the canadian model. does that mean it's just going to serve as a paper weight?
Calzo