You wanna return that? Give us a cookie.

This weekend I bought new headphones for my iPhone at Mikey’s Hook Up, a computer store in Williamsburg, NY. Everything was good until I saw their absolutely outrageous returns policy in their receipt.

You have to give them an oatmeal raisin cookie for a return with no frosting? Are they out of their f–king mind? Has the world gone completely bonkers, and I didn’t get the memo?

Stupid, stupid people. Everybody knows that oatmeal raisin cookies are way better with lemon-vanilla frosting.